Polymarket’s gamblers, those brave souls with a penchant for gambling on the future’s chaos, saw the chance of “Who will Trump pardon in 2025” shoot up from a measly 5.6% to a decent 12%. More than $6.5 million changed hands, with a cool $302,090 betting on SBF-because nothing says confidence like betting on a guy with a prison sentence longer than some TV series.
Meet Axel Adler, the financial soothsayer, who tells us that both Bitcoin and our less-exciting cousin, the S&P 500, are still in what he calls the “late bull phase.” Now, the S&P 500 climbed a modest +13% over the last year, showing that investors are still willing to bet on dreams that just might come true. Interestingly, Bitcoin and the S&P tend to waltz in the same ballroom, though sometimes Bitcoin forgets the steps and drifts off to the corner for a solo dance, with a correlation of a mere 0.26. 🕺💃
It appears someone – and rather anonymously, I might add – shifted a truly staggering £506,152,575 worth of XRP. From one secret address to another, naturally. The mystery! The intrigue! One pictures shady figures in dimly lit rooms…or perhaps just someone with excellent financial planning. 🤔
With a wink and a nod to the future, these banks have crafted a blockchain solution that promises to make transactions faster than a squirrel on a coffee high, all while keeping customer deposits secure. 🚀
Despite scandals that could make a soap opera blush and a price plunge rivaling Icarus’ fall, the Pioneers (bless their optimistic souls) still chant, “It’s different this time!” The real question: Can Pi Network charm investors like a snake charmer, or will it collapse like a house of cards? 🐍
In the marble halls of power, lawmakers and crypto moguls whisper sweet nothings of bipartisan harmony. David Sacks, the AI and crypto czar of Trump’s realm, struts like a prophet, declaring victory after “productive meetings” with Democratic sages. Brian Armstrong, the Coinbase oracle, chimes in: “We’re 90% there!” he proclaims, as if the final 10% were a mere trifle, not a chasm of political wrangling. 🕺💼
This latest pardoning, a slapdash encore to his previous Silk Road antics, has ignited a frenzy of speculation. Sam Bankman-Fried, that fallen crypto titan now rotting in a cell, is whispered to be the next act in this absurdist drama.
BNB didn’t just surge-it did the crypto equivalent of a backflip with a triple axel. Within 30 minutes of the pardon news, it rocketed from just above $1,060 to a high of $1,148. Because, you know, nothing says “I’m innocent” like your cryptocurrency spiking faster than a caffeine-fueled squirrel. 🐿️
Stedas recently penned a riveting piece entitled “You are still not bullish enough on $XRP” (I know, it lacks a certain pizzazz, but bear with me). He pointed out a company called Evernorth, which has grand ambitions to manage a colossal 560 million XRP. If that number doesn’t make your jaw drop, the realization that they’re now the largest publicly listed XRP treasury company might just do the trick! Apparently, big players are actually building serious projects around this altcoin instead of just day trading it like it was poker chips at a poorly run casino. 🎰
Zero fees, a charming gesture, yet the hearts of traders remain as cold as a winter’s night, for they crave transparency like a parched soul craves water 💧.
