Bloomberg’s Eric Balchunas, that wizard of ETFs, dropped the numbers like a hot mic: $1.2 billion in two days. If this keeps up, he reckons we’re looking at $150 billion annually. “That’s 600% more than 2025,” he said, “which, if you’re keeping track, is like going from a toddler’s allowance to a kleptocrat’s bank balance.”
The $BTC chart is dressing up in what looks like a bull flag-cute, right? It hit the top on Monday, then decided to chill with a pattern that’s kinda like a flag waving in the crypto breeze. Only two touches so far, so it’s basically still in its awkward teen phase. But don’t dismiss it; it’s got swagger.
He claims to be “up in the air”-a charming expression for being utterly perplexed-while still holding a long position. His hesitation, one might say, springs from the classic conflict: the charts show stretch marks on the shorter timeframes, yet XRP has a notorious penchant for accelerating after momentum spikes rather than quitting suddenly. A true conundrum for the modern trader-more tangled than a parliament of butterflies! 🦋
In a recent tweet-oh, the modernity!-Mr. Dixon asserts that this recent dip from its all-time high constitutes a most ordinary correction, rather than a catastrophic collapse. Indeed, on the daily chart, Bitcoin appears to have engaged in a rather charming ABC corrective pattern, indicative of profit-taking rather than the frenzied selling of panic-stricken souls. Following this correction, our dear Bitcoin has taken refuge within a falling wedge pattern, which, as every astute observer knows, is often perceived as a precursor to bullish continuance. 😊
He’s all “Once the hipsters swing their capital from their precious metals, we’re looking at major, major gainz!” Meanwhile, Bitcoin’s gotta play the Great Barrier Reef of pressure zones first. Can it, will it?
My dear, XRP’s ascent above $2.20 and $2.250 was nothing short of a triumph, leaving Bitcoin and Ethereum green with envy. It breezed past $2.30 with the confidence of a Coward protagonist. 🌬️💅
The big bosses, the ones who can move mountains of coin with a flick of the wrist? They are… resting. Observing. Perhaps laughing at the foolish enthusiasm of the masses. And the little fish, the retail investors, they flit about, reacting to every ripple like startled minnows. It is a pathetic, yet predictable dance.
Indeed, this remarkable token clambered over the lofty heights of 21%, trading at approximately $2.53, as the numbers from CoinMarketCap fluttered with excitement. In stark contrast, its esteemed peers, Chainlink [LINK] and Bittensor [TAO], languished in modest gains of merely 2% and 5%. Oh, how the mighty have fallen, or perhaps they simply took a leisurely stroll while Render sprinted past them! 🐭🏃♂️
This little farce follows a data breach at Ledger’s e-commerce partner, Global-e. Imagine a vault with a sticky lock and a sign that says, “I’m open for business!” The breach exposed names, emails, phone numbers, and order details. Classic. Now users are receiving emails that read like a corporate fantasy novel: “Dear valued customer, your 24-word recovery phrase is now due by Tuesday.”
Gemini Trust Company, that paragon of virtue, bestowed 1.5 million USDC, which was promptly converted to dollars-because nothing says “trust” like a 1:1 ratio. Meanwhile, Foris Dax Inc., parent of Crypto.com, handed over two $10 million checks, each as clean as a bureaucrat’s conscience. One might wonder if these titans of tech are merely funding a campaign or, dare we say, a new religion.
