Crypto News

This grand scheme, however, is not without its stingy limitations. Full bank privileges? Perish the thought! These accounts would likely earn no interest whatsoever, and the Fed’s discount window would remain firmly shut, as if it were a drawing-room door slammed in one’s face. Balance caps and risk limits would abound, like a hostess at a garden party who’s determined to keep the champagne flowing-but only in thimblefuls. Waller, ever the cautious host, noted that the plan remains in its exploratory phase, as if the Fed were testing whether guests might accidentally spill the punch bowl.

Picture this: a crypto firm so bold it makes the Gold Rush look like a church bake sale teams up with ETF gurus who’ve turned Bitcoin into a respectable parlor trick for pension funds. Falconx, the brainchild of a chap named Raghu Yarlagadda, is now hitching its wagon to 21shares, a outfit that’s been peddling digital asset ETFs like hotcakes at a fire sale. The deal’s got more cash and equity than a Silicon Valley divorce.

In case you missed it, here’s the deal:

This cheeky post, unleashed on Wednesday, October 22 (a date that’ll live in infamy, or at least in Schiff’s nightmares), finds Brandt serving up a sarcastic slam-dunk as gold suddenly face-plants from its giddy record highs. Talk about a plot twist straight out of a bad comedy! 👀🚀

FINTRAC, ever the stickler for rules, dished out a C$176.96M slap (about $126M) to Xeltox Enterprises Ltd., the folks behind Cryptomus. 🎩 It seems the platform was more “sloppy” than a diplomat’s handshake. 💸

Oh, how delightful! You’ve stumbled upon Crypto Long & Short, our weekly ode to digital finance for the “sophisticated” investor. Do join the circus-every Wednesday! 🎩🎪

According to a super serious X post, the Foundation is footing the bill for this little adventure. 💸 Because, you know, what’s a few million in crypto when you’re trying to look cool on the internet? 😎

Investment bank B. Riley upgraded Core Scientific (CORZ) to buy from neutral, and raised its price target on the shares to $30 from $17, citing strong standalone value and renewed momentum in high-performance computing (HPC). Because nothing says “investment” like a Bitcoin miner with a PhD in data centers. 💻

Now, let me tell ya, this partnership ‘twixt Curve and Yieldbasis is strutting out of the gate faster than a cat on a hot tin roof, with mutual incentive pedestrians hand-in-hand under a shared liquidity umbrella, as noted in Curve’s latest analysis; a raucous affair, truly.

HBAR’s 24-hour fall is but a chapter in this tragicomedy, its volatility a $0.0140 range as turbulent as a love triangle. One might say the token’s momentum is as relentless as a gossip mill at a country ball. 🎩