Crypto News

The year of our Lord 2025, however, was arguably unkind to the esteemed followers of this cryptic currency. Alas, Shiba Inu, having lost favour with fortune, did not aspire to its former grandeur, and even dipped into a lengthy melancholy decline-a turn of events most distressing. Yet, as the dawn of 2026 began to break upon the world, there flickered a hopeful glow. Despite the tragic lamentations of Bitcoin, struggling in its role, the playful reputation coins, including our Shiba Inu, seemed to seize upon an increase in seasonal speculation.

After years of lurking in Bitcoin’s shadow like an awkward younger sibling, Ethereum finally remembered it had a pulse. Price did a cute little jump above $3,050 and then-plot twist-stormed past $3,120 like it had something to prove.

The blockchain scribes, the analytics firm Lookonchain, uncovered three digital wallets, their coffers bloated with $630,484 by betting on Maduro’s ouster. The timing? A ballet of chaos, raising eyebrows across the crypto realm. 🤯

You won’t believe this, but some smarty-pants over at Polymarket placed bets that’d make your granny blush-right before Nicolás Maduro got himself into a pickle. Meanwhile, some blockchain sleuths spotted a wallet actin’ all suspicious, like a fox in a henhouse. Now, the bigwigs in Washington are scratchin’ their heads, wonderin’ if prediction markets need a good ol’ fashioned spankin’.

And apparently, the stars have aligned, or rather, some lines on a chart have crossed. A “golden cross,” they’re calling it. Which sounds suspiciously like something alchemists used to babble about while trying to turn lead into gold. Only this time, it involves numbers that mostly exist on the internet. The 50-thingy went above the 200-thingy. Very dramatic. 🙄

Btcparser.com version one keeps track of over 60,000 ‘sleeping’ Bitcoin wallets – basically, the ones you’d expect to be six feet under, financially speaking. These wallets were all created between 2009 and 2017, which honestly feels like a lifetime ago in crypto years. Unlike 2024, no wallets from the very beginning (2009!) actually moved any funds. And 2010-era wallets? They went quiet too, but 2011 was where things got interesting…very interesting indeed.

Ashen faces of market analysts might speak forever of uncertainty, peering into the ether while the long-term prospects of MYX’s rally linger in flux, muddied like a 1951 Magnum in a bog. AMBCrypto, armed with a verbosity rivaling even the verbose Pnin, pertinently dissects these recent phenomena, peeling back the layers to reveal the core:

Basically, Kulechov thinks Aave is too cool to just be about crypto. He wants, and I quote, a $500 trillion asset base and “tens of millions of users.” Tens of millions! That’s like… a lot of people taking out loans. He’s looking at real-world assets (RWAs) – think houses, art, Beanie Babies… okay, probably not Beanie Babies. He envisions a future where Aave isn’t just for the crypto-savvy, but for your grandma too. (Though honestly, your grandma should probably stick to CDs. Just sayin’.)

As the crypto oracle of all things (aka Santiment) explained, projects with more dev activity are basically the influencers of Web3-everyone wants to follow them, even if their content is just cat memes and code. More followers = more demand, which is just a fancy way of saying “hope springs eternal.” 🤞

According to the illustrious U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the breach at the renowned Richmond Behavioral Health Authority (RBHA) was reported as an “Hacking/IT Incident.” What a charming euphemism for a fiasco that affected over 113,000 people like a surprise snowstorm in April! ❄️