Crypto News

The juicy tidbit: these banks reported lower provisions for credit losses than analysts expected – in layman’s terms, the cracks in the financial system aren’t as cavernous as the naysayers had us believe. This gave the S&P Regional Banks Index a boost, clawing back part of Thursday’s 6.3% nosedive. It was the kind of selloff that reminded some of the March 2023 mini-crisis, when fears about loan fraud at Zions Bancorp and Western Alliance sent everyone into a frenzy.

The recent crypto crash has wiped out a trillion in crypto market cap in hours, and it hit Solana pretty hard. While SOL recovered, how did this affect treasury companies like Upexi?

But fear not, brave investor! Corporate interest remains steady-Caliber, the ever-ambitious, has invested like a lord, and the Chainlink Reserve, that cautious beast, has added nearly 60,000 LINK to its trove. Alas, with an average cost of $21.98, they’re swimming in a deep, cold pool-down over 34%. Brrr! ❄️

Ah, Arthur Hayes, that wily wizard of wild crypto wizardry, is stirring up a storm with his family office Maelstrom, desperately drumming up $250 million for a grand private equity jamboree to nab middling crypto miscreants, or so whispers Bloomberg on this fiendish Friday.

Stellar Lumens (XLM) endured a rather dramatic 6.25% drop between Oct. 16 and 17, falling from $0.32 to $0.30 in what could only be described as a corporate rollercoaster. All this happened in just a 23-hour trading period. Buckle up, it’s about to get bumpy.

Notably, the asset management firm is the first to pursue this type of Lido Staked Ethereum offering, a feat that would make even Tolstoy’s characters raise an eyebrow at the audacity. 🤯

In a Fox Business interview that felt less like a policy discussion and more like a therapy session, Trump declared the tariffs “not sustainable.” Spoiler: They’re still in place. But hey, he blames China for “ripping off our country for years,” which is a compelling narrative if you ignore the fact that he once said they were “very unfair” and then immediately threatened them with more tariffs. Classic.

Ah, Dubai-the land of skyscrapers, sand dunes, and now… tokenized robots. Yes, you read that right. Peaq, the decentralized physical infrastructure (DePIN) protocol, has sealed a deal with the Virtual Assets Regulatory Authority (VARA) of Dubai. Their goal? To establish a framework that makes sure the robot overlords of the future don’t go rogue. 🤖✨

Crypto’s second-favorite digital asset (after Bitcoin, which is just Ethereum’s smug older sibling) has been trapped in a “support-resistance” cage match, failing to break above $4,500. According to our oracle, this is a short-term correction, which is just a fancy way of saying, “The market is panicking, but don’t panic… unless you’re a bear, in which case, PANIC.” The next stop? A $3,600 support level, which might as well be the edge of the universe. 🌌

The market’s equivalent of a teenager’s emotional breakdown? Probably crypto-native traders, according to JPMorgan (JPM). 🤷‍♀️