Crypto News

On what looks like a four-hour drama from CoinGlass, nearly all the liquidations targeted the longs-a staggering $10,590 evaporated from their hopes, while the shorts barely felt a tap-only $213.72. That’s how you get a headline screaming ‘5,000% imbalance’ without the market actually collapsing into a coma. Usually, such one-sided wipeouts signal latecomers or the market saying, “Hold my beer,” before it knocks them out. But nope, this time, the price refused to play into the narrative. It just hiked a teeny bit and then bounced-or maybe it was just showing off, who knows? 😏

In a missive on the digital altar of X, Vet, a sentinel of the XRPL, proclaimed that the network’s artisans are already sculpting quantum-resistant code. Behold, the testnet now boasts a fully quantum-proof consensus-a feat Bitcoin can only dream of. Yet, as with all great strides, there are thorns. Vet, with a wry smile, noted that the signatures of this new era are bloated, like a feast-swollen noble. A video, shared with the world, revealed these signatures, sprawling and unwieldy, a small price for immortality. 📜

Outside city hall, where bureaucrats once sighed over permit forms, clerks now shrug: “Bitcoin? Sure.” The mundanity is almost offensive. In most cities, this would be satire. Here, it’s just Tuesday. 🏛️⚡

Solstice Finance’s USX, a Solana-native over-collateralized stablecoin launched in September 2025, experienced a significant depeg in secondary markets early this morning. The token briefly dropped as low as $0.80 before recovering to around $0.99 following emergency liquidity injections. 🩸

The move is like a “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed” moment for Europe’s crypto scene. 🤯

Moscow Exchange (MOEX) and the St. Petersburg Exchange have confirmed their plans to launch crypto trading once the regulatory paperwork is sorted. Because, you know, nothing says “secure investment” like waiting for government approval. 💼 The Bank of Russia recently proposed allowing both retail and qualified investors to dip their toes into the crypto pool, but only if they can prove they know what they’re doing. Good luck with that.

Here’s the scoop: Trust Wallet has confirmed a security mishap with their browser extension. Picture this: users losing bits of digital gold left, right, and center. Suddenly, wallets across the digital realms seemed to have strategically planned lunar eclipses. Meanwhile, blockchain sleuths went detective mode, tracing the suspect transactions like they’re hot.

Bitcoin’s trying to look tough, but it’s basically a wobbly toddler on a trampoline. 🐍📉

Steph, with the seriousness of a man who has just discovered fire, points to a three-week XRP chart. You see, the Stochastic RSI has nosedived to zero-a feat so rare it only happened once, back during the infamous bear market. Apparently, when this happens, selling pressure is as exhausted as my uncle’s patience at the dinner table, which is good news-if you believe in magic or luck.

Those clever chaps at QCP Capital (such a mouthful, darlings) noted in their latest US Colour update that liquidity is thinner than a socialite’s patience. Traders, it seems, are closing positions faster than one flees a dull conversation. 🏃♀️💨