Crypto News

As of right now? Oy, the schpilkes! HYPE is hanging around $23.942. Down! Down I tell ye! 1.39% today, and a whopping 11.9% this week. It’s a fire sale, folks! A fire sale!

Ethereum, that prima donna of the blockchain ballet, teeters on the edge of a bullish pirouette. Statistically, the stars align for a reversal, though one must always beware of the orchestra pit. Months of corrective curtsies have compressed ETH into a structure ripe for volatility-a firecracker awaiting a spark. The downward momentum, once a Wagnerian crescendo, now whimpers like a wounded violin. 🕺

By mid-2026, the EU’s MiCA framework will be the new sheriff in town, and let me tell you, this ain’t no friendly neighborhood watch. The National Securities Market Commission (CNMV) – those folks who already keep an eye on over 60 bigwigs like BBVA and Cecabank – will be cracking the whip on digital assets. Compliance? Oh, it’s not just a suggestion anymore; it’s the price of admission to this crypto rodeo. 🤠

Behold, the specter of December 2021 rises again, its ghostly fingers tracing fractal patterns upon the charts. 🧙♂️✨ On that fateful Christmas Eve, Bitcoin stood at $51,700, only to plunge to $34,000 by the new year-a 34% descent into the abyss. Now, some so-called “expert” (likely a man with a monocle and a penchant for doom) applies this fractal model to our present woes, foretelling a march to $70,000. Oh, the audacity! 🤡📉

My dears, Ethena Labs announced on Wednesday (how midweek of them!) that it has embraced Anchorage Digital Bank as the custodian for the assets backing its synthetic dollar token, USDe. With the inclusion of America’s first federally chartered crypto bank, Ethena aims to elevate the safety of its protocol. How utterly daring! 🚀

As I understand it, the president has confirmed that KGST is fully backed by the som and built on the BNB Chain. What’s particularly interesting about this listing is that it’s unusual to see a stablecoin directly tied to a national currency – rather than a private entity – being offered on a major global exchange.

In the spirit of saving you from financial eggnog-induced headaches, BeInCrypto has donned its detective hat (not to be confused with SANTA HAT, mind you) to uncover three Christmas crypto tokens that should be avoided like a fruitcake at a dinner party. 🍰🚫

Les chiffres du CME, ces comptoirs de la finance, montrent un pic des options d’achat, telles des cloches annonçant la fin du bal de décembre 2024, lorsque le prix flirtait avec le fleuron de 90 000 dollars. Depuis, ce désir d’acheter s’est étiolé plus vite qu’un feu de joie après la fête, redescendant vers la profondeur des abysses. La sagesse populaire (ou le nôtre, plutôt) affirme que quand l’intérêt pour ces options d’achat chute, le marché se parjure en signant sa propre défaite. 🔽

From $2.74 billion to $2.89 billion, this token’s ascent is as dramatic as a Shakespearean tragedy. The “first promotion” aims to “maximize rewards,” but let’s be honest-this is just a fancy way of saying, “Invest more, earn more, and forget about your life.” 🧠

Because apparently, someone decided blockchain accounting needed a little more drama. 🎭