Crypto experts are pushing back after billionaire hedge fund manager Ray Dalio renewed his skepticism about bitcoin, arguing that the largest and oldest cryptocurrency lacks the qualities that make gold a reliable store of value. Yes, because, of course, everything is supposed to be just like gold, right? How original, Ray.
But alas, the harpies of the spot ETF markets screech their discordant tune, with cumulative net outflows nearing $9 billion since the October 2025 peak. The longest period of redemptions since these financial sirens first sang their song. A bullish continuation pattern on the weekly chart? Pah! It’s but a mirage in the desert of uncertainty, a taunting whisper to the bulls guarding their precious $62,300.
So, South Korea’s stock market had a mini-meltdown this week. The Kospi-basically a Samsung-and-SK Hynix fan club-plummeted 20% in two days. Why? Geopolitical tensions, obviously. This caused what we might lovingly call a speculative bubble to burst. Oh, how the mighty fall.
The supply, a staggering 43 billion HBAR out of a total 50 billion, circulates like whispers in a crowded room. The intraday chart, a tale of persistence, shows a steady climb from the depths of $0.096 to the heights of $0.10, only to retreat slightly, as if testing the ground beneath its feet.
The Financial Services Commission (FSC) is putting the finishing touches on a plan, developed with the ruling party’s digital asset task force, to limit how much ownership any single person or company can have in major cryptocurrency exchanges. The proposed limit is between 15% and 20% of the exchange’s total value.
And so, dear reader, the grand story unfolds. Tether Investments, the noble benefactor, has graciously led a $50 million funding round for Eight Sleep. Yes, you heard that correctly, a sum fit for royalty, announced on March 4, 2026. And the outcome? The humble sleep tech company now finds itself perched upon the lofty heights of a $1.5 billion valuation.
In a move that has left the financial world scratching its head, Mizuho analysts Dan Dolev and Alexander Jenkins decided to boost their target for Circle Internet Financial (NYSE: CRCL) from a modest $90 to a dazzling $100. And here’s the kicker – they’re still keeping their rating as neutral. So basically, it’s like saying, “We think you’ll do well, but don’t go buying a yacht just yet.”
In news that’s about as surprising as a tax hike, Doppler Finance-the folks who build rewards systems on the XRP Ledger-have announced a partnership with Hex Trust, a digital asset custodian so institutional it probably wears a suit to bed. Together, they’re expanding the use of Wrapped XRP (wXRP) for institutions, because apparently, XRP wasn’t already complicated enough.
In a world where geopolitical tensions between the U.S. and Iran are as predictable as a Douglas Adams plot twist, Dalio has taken it upon himself to remind us that Bitcoin is not the safe-haven asset we’ve been led to believe. Apparently, it’s more like a rollercoaster ride through a black hole-exciting, but not exactly secure.
From a technical perspective, much of the focus is centered on oil.