The exchange, which isn’t registered with Japan’s Financial Services Agency (a requirement as strict as a librarian’s rules on quiet hours), claims it’s just following the rules. Or maybe it’s just tired of explaining why it’s not registered. 🧠🚫
Their ETH hoard has swelled to 4.07 million, accompanied by a mere 193 BTC, as if these were mere trinkets in the grand tapestry of digital wealth. One might wonder if they’ve confused a piggy bank for a vault.
Considering the major harbingers of economic fortune-a view into stocks, the trusted gold, the enigmatic 10-year Treasury note, Bitcoin, essential industrial metals like copper, and the dollar index-one cannot help but note with a twinge of irony the state of their ascents and descents.
The transfers, executed with the timing of a perfectly choreographed Vogon opera, totaled more than 450 BTC and were split across several addresses linked to Trump Media. At current prices, this is, of course, a veritable cosmic fortune exceeding $40 million-placing the company firmly among the stellar list of publicly traded firms proudly showcasing their digital assets on their balance sheets. The transactions appear to have been dispatched from Crypto.com hot wallets, which provided both speed and those delightful high-energy transactions.
Kneeling beneath the weight of a 66% descent over the past year, Dogecoin retreats to the precarious terrain near $0.13 – a far cry from the revered levels where enthusiastic bids once converged. The market landscape, in its pernicious wisdom, has pivoted to champion those tokens swathed in purposeful narratives, leaving the market size as a frail guard to price stability, murmuring a poignant narrative of impermanence.
This crossroads comes on a day etched into history: Friday, December 26. On this day, an astonishing $23.6 billion in options are set to expire-more than enough to fund a small country (or, at the very least, the world’s grandest pizza party). Traders, investors, and the prudent alike are glued to their screens, wondering if this monstrous expiration will turn the market upside down or simply wink conspiratorially and go back to normal. One thing’s certain: with liquidity thinner than a slice of bread in a famine, even the smallest ripple could become a tidal wave. 🌊
Strategy, in a move that would make Scrooge McDuck blush, has announced the swelling of its USD reserve fund by a cool $748 million, bringing the total to nearly $2.2 billion. This fund, first unveiled earlier in December, is ostensibly designed to cover dividend obligations tied to preferred stocks-essentially, the financial equivalent of a safety net for Bitcoin enthusiasts. 🛡️
In a revelation bordering on the sacramental, one CryptoVizArt.₿-a seer cloaked in the pseudonymous darkness of X (formerly known as Twitter, that den of vice and virtue)-has unveiled the cold, hard numbers. And oh, how the mighty have fallen! Stablecoins-those obedient husks tied by invisible chains to the almighty dollar-have risen like a tide of mechanized monks across the Tron network. USDT and USDC, the twin saints of synthetic stability, now process a staggering $24.2 billion in 90-day smoothed volume. A tide! A deluge! Meanwhile, poor XRP, that flickering candle in the cathedral of crypto, barely sustains $2.2 billion-a mere tithe in comparison! 🤯
This bearish spectacle was allegedly sparked by a single whale’s midday snack: a $17 million sell-off that sent longs tumbling like dominoes. Liquidations? A paltry $1.59 million-nothing more than a pebble in the ocean of chaos. 🐳
Kalshi isn’t just dabbling in the market-no, now they want to be the Oracle of Delphi, but make it finance. The U.S.-regulated prediction market teamed up with PhDs and hogged all the data, claiming they have the “largest and most detailed dataset”-because who doesn’t want a giant dollop of data on their side?
