Crypto News

Ah, the relentless tide of institutional hunger for these so-called regulated digital chains-how it reshapes our crumbling economic wilderness, much like the camps reshaped lives into numbed submission. The digital payment overlords at Circle (NYSE: CRCL), in their eloquent missive on that fateful October 9th, proclaim their U.S. dollar-anchored beast, USDC, as the very bedrock of the GENIUS Act-a framework ripe with bureaucratic genius, or perhaps mere illusion, elevating USDC to the pantheon of the world’s most liquid and obedient stablecoins, compliant as faithful automatons. 😂

Galaxy Digital, that cunning fox of the financial forest, has lassoed itself a whopping $460 million investment from one of them big-shot asset managers. 🤠 And what’s the plan, you ask? Why, to transform a dusty old Bitcoin warehouse into a gleaming AI supercomputer center, of course! Because, as we all know, the future ain’t in digging for digital gold-it’s in teaching machines to think like us (or dumber, depending on the day). 🤖

This cascade unleashed more than $500 million in liquidations, including $100 million from SUI positions. Despite a partial recovery to $2.40, SUI closed the day down 20.75%, outpacing the crypto market’s roughly 9% decline. The mood among traders mingles polite despair with a wink-like spectators at a ball who know the mirror shows the truth but prefer to pretend it isn’t there. 😂

Although Ethereum is still down by a respectable 13% at the time of writing, some early signs from derivatives and technical charts suggest that the sell-off may have gone just a touch too far. Perhaps, dare we say, a rebound could be lurking just beneath the surface, waiting to make its grand entrance? 🤔

Now, the bulls are scratching their heads, wondering if the recovery will be quicker than a jackrabbit or slower than molasses in January. Well, folks, if history’s any judge, it’s gonna be a gradual climb-testing patience like a toddler tests a parent’s sanity. 😓

The same dread struck other trading arenas. A similar plunge was witnessed on Bitfinex to $0.30 and on Kraken to $0.42, though not quite as violently. Bears lethargically dragged it to $0.56 on Bitstamp, while Coinbase saw it dip to $0.6, now hovering near $0.65. 😏

Morgan Stanley, the financial behemoth that manages more money than you’ve ever accidentally left in a taxi, has flung open the crypto doors to all its wealth management clients. That’s right-no more elitist gatekeeping! Now, whether you’re a risk-loving adrenaline junkie or someone who still thinks Bitcoin is a type of breakfast cereal, you too can participate in the digital gold rush.

This zany maneuver flips the script on how public companies hoard their rainy-day socks-forget boring cash or yawn-worthy investments, Aurelion’s splurging on tokenized gold-those fancy digital chits, each swaggering like it owns one ounce of the real-deal gold bunkered in Swiss vaults. Like owning gold without the heavy lifting… or the heavy gold! 💰😏

Apparently, yes. Strong spot buying and a positive funding rate say, “Not today, Satan.” But let’s not get our hopes up-this is crypto, after all. 🎢

Here’s the tea: Canary’s charging a 0.50% sponsor fee for both ETFs, which is like, “We’re fancy but not *too* fancy.” A step down from their 0.95% HBAR and Litecoin fees-clearly, they’ve been shopping the clearance section. Bloomberg’s Eric Balchunas (aka the ETF whisperer) spilled that the Solana ETF includes staking but won’t share the rewards. Classic “I’ll take the cake and eat it too” move. 🍰