Is Bitcoin in Trouble? Ethereum’s Surge to $4,000 Raises Eyebrows, XRP Bids Farewell to Billion Club

Despite the *grim* resistance from sellers, XRP has decided to be the stubborn mule of the crypto world, refusing to let go of its dream to breach the elusive $3 barrier. Breaking past $3.02 last week was a big deal, but *oh*, how it faltered, consolidating just beneath that critical milestone. The chart now resembles a *bullish cathedral*, with moving averages hanging high above like the distant hopes of a tired traveler.

Why Bitcoin Is Still the King of Inflation Hedge—GameStop’s Billionaire Has the Scoop! šŸ’ø

Our pal Bitcoin is holding onto its crown like a nervous king at a carnival! Despite the market playing musical chairs with investors’ sanity, the digital gold is still seen as a shiny shield against inflation. Ryan Cohen, the head honcho over at GameStop—yes, the same guys who made a circus out of Wall Street—says he’s got a real crush on Bitcoin as a fortress against fiat currency erosion. ā€œI look at Bitcoin as a hedge against inflation and global money printing,ā€ he proclaimed, probably with a cigar in one hand and a goblet of unseen riches in the other. šŸ·

House’s Hilarious Crypto Caper: GENIUS Act and Market Structure Bill Move Forward!

By a 215-211 vote, the House agreed to move forward with the Guiding and Establishing National Innovation for U.S. Stablecoins (GENIUS) Act, which, if you can believe it, creates federal oversight for stablecoin issuers and could reach President Donald Trump’s desk by week’s end. šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø Lawmakers also cleared the Digital Asset Market Clarity Act, establishing comprehensive crypto market regulations and clarifying roles for the SEC and CFTC, alongside a measure that, in a shocking twist, bars the Federal Reserve from issuing central bank digital currencies (CBDCs) directly to individuals. 🤯 Not a single Democrat representative supported advancing the bills, following a tense earlier procedural vote that initially stalled the effort on Tuesday, making it a real nail-biter! šŸŽ¬šŸ”„

Trump’s Itchy Firing Finger 🤣

Trump Image

Now, it seems Trump’s got a bit of a grudge against Powell, what with him not cuttin’ interest rates and all. And let’s not forget that fancy-schmancy $2 billion renovation of the Fed buildin’! Why, that’s just a mighty fine way to get a fella’s goat, if you ask me. But some folks think Trump’s just tryin’ to get under Powell’s skin, like a pesky little brother. The thing is, though, that draft letter suggests Trump might just be serious about givin’ Powell the axe.

Fetch.ai’s Fiendishly Fun Frenzy: Will It Reach $1.03 or Just Keep Playing Hide and Seek?

Now, let’s talk about this sturdy little number known as the 0.618 Fibonacci retracement, which sounds like something out of a wizard’s spellbook but is really just a fancy way of saying our friend Fetch.ai has some decent bounce-back potential. It’s not just a number—no, no! It’s the trampoline of technical analysis! When it hit the ground at the value area low, it made quite the scene, heralding the classic ā€œI am a rubber ballā€ recovery. šŸ€