Crypto News

From the dusty tomes of technical analysis, a pattern emerges-the bull flag, a herald of upward destiny. A sharp rally, a pause, and then-boom! The breakout. Or so the story goes. According to the wise scribes of the Journal of Financial Markets, this flag has waved triumphantly in 65% of crypto’s chaotic battles. But beware, dear reader, for not all flags lead to glory. Still, if the stars align, Bitcoin might pierce the $122K-$125K barrier like a knight through tissue paper. 🏰⚔️

For starters, gold’s pulled off a jaw-dropping 21% hike in just 35 days, kicking off all the chatter about this ‘Debasement Trade.’ Sounds like a bad movie plot, right? But hey, Matt Hougan, Bitwise’s Chief Investment Officer (CIO), thinks Bitcoin could be the star of the show, reaping the rewards like a hungry hippo at a buffet. 🍽️

One must needs observe that the venture arm of the United States’ great house Citigroup invests with a propriety most becoming in stability, and has chosen BVNK, a platform famed for the gentle art of stablecoin payments, for its latest alliance.

Soon, users will be able to buy cryptocurrencies with their PayPay balance and withdraw crypto profits straight into their PayPay accounts. It’s like a financial Swiss Army knife-except instead of opening a beer, it’s opening a can of blockchain worms. 🐛 PayPay’s massive user base is about to collide with Binance’s blockchain wizardry, and Japan’s digital finance scene is either going to thank them or sue them. 🤷‍♂️

These adjustments paint the exchange’s ongoing efforts to protect its customers and maintain transparency like a meticulously penned sonnet of caution. While some tokens are now under closer scrutiny-an unenviable spotlight, it must be said-others have maintained their stability and passed their recent risk reviews with such distinction that they’ve been promoted back to grace. Miracle of miracles!

Fahmi Syed, the person in charge of things over at the Midnight Foundation (sounds a bit dramatic, doesn’t it?), assures us there is a better way. He held forth at Token2049 Singapore-a venue, we assume, filled with people talking very seriously about… well, tokens-and explained Midnight’s concept of “rational privacy”. Apparently, it involves these clever little things called zero-knowledge proofs, which let you decide what bits of information you share, with whom, and when. It’s like choosing which embarrassing childhood photos you allow your aunt to show at family gatherings. 🤔

On a Wednesday, no less-a day as mundane as a cucumber sandwich-the FCA proclaimed that retail investors may now dabble in crypto ETNs via their approved exchanges. A crypto ETN, for the uninitiated, is a debt product that allows one to flirt with cryptocurrency without the commitment of ownership. It is, in essence, a financial dalliance, a way to say, “I’m in, but not really.” These products, traded like any other security, are safeguarded by regulated custodians, lest the digital assets vanish into the ether like a poorly written novel. 📜

Solana’s native token, SOL, rebounded to $229 on Tuesday after momentarily dipping to a lowly $218. This bounce-back happened as investors gave a nod to the US Federal Reserve’s minutes from its September meeting, reaffirming the whisper of interest rate cuts coming in 2025-maybe the market can take a breather then.

Yet, even in this chaos, the whales linger like uninvited guests at a funeral. Robinhood, Bitget, and their ilk have quietly stashed $30 million into WLFI, whispering to the world, “This isn’t over.” Meanwhile, Binance, MEXC, and Coinbase dabbled in profit-taking, selling just enough to avoid suspicion. It’s a ballet of greed and caution, and the audience is none the wiser. 🎭

What does this mean for crypto tax services, you ask? Oh, just the usual: reduced taxpayer assistance, backlogs piling up like a bad buffet, and delays in issuing new tax guidance. Because nothing says “efficiency” like a government shutdown. 🤑💨