Coinbase Buys Echo for $375M: Crypto’s New Oligarchs Rise 🤑

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Finance

What to know:

  • In a move that reeks of the inevitable march of capitalist consolidation, Coinbase has swallowed Echo, a startup once hailed as the beacon of decentralized fundraising, for a cool $375 million. 🦈💰
  • Echo’s platform, which allowed startups to beg for crumbs directly from their communities, will remain a “standalone” platform-a term as hollow as a politician’s promise. 🏛️
  • This acquisition is Coinbase’s latest attempt to dominate every corner of the crypto universe, from tokenized securities to “real-world assets,” whatever that means. 🌍📈

Ah, Coinbase (COIN), the ever-expanding leviathan of the crypto world, has once again flexed its financial muscles by acquiring Echo, a startup that promised to democratize fundraising. For $375 million, Coinbase has purchased not just a company, but a dream-a dream now shackled to the altar of corporate greed. 🛑

Echo, founded by the enigmatic Cobie (a name that sounds like a forgotten character from a dystopian novel), had helped projects raise over $200 million across 300 deals. But fear not, for Cobie assures us that Echo will remain “standalone”-a phrase as reassuring as a dentist’s drill. 🦷

The platform allowed startups to grovel for funds directly from their communities, either in private or through self-hosted public token sales via a product called Sonar. Sonar, aptly named, will now be integrated into Coinbase, presumably to better navigate the murky waters of crypto capitalism. 🚢

In a statement dripping with corporate jargon, Coinbase proclaimed this acquisition would help build a “full-stack” solution for crypto fundraising. For startups, this translates to easier access to capital-provided they kneel before the Coinbase throne. For investors, it’s a chance to gamble on early-stage opportunities that were once the privilege of the elite. 🎲

“Echo will remain a standalone platform under its current brand for now,” Cobie chirped on X, “but we will integrate Sonar’s public sale product into Coinbase, and likely introduce new ways for founders to beg and investors to speculate.” A true visionary, indeed. 🤡

Coinbase, ever the overachiever, plans to expand Echo’s infrastructure beyond crypto, eventually supporting tokenized securities and “real-world assets.” Because, as we all know, the real world is just another market waiting to be exploited. 🌍💹

This acquisition follows Coinbase’s earlier purchase of LiquiFi, a token management platform, and its $25 million splurge on reviving Cobie’s UpOnly podcast. Truly, no stone-or wallet-is left unturned in their quest for dominance. 🗿

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2025-10-21 13:55