Crypto Boom: Because Who Needs Actual Money, Anyway?

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It’s official: the crypto market has gone utterly, completely, and totally bonkers 🤪. In a recent post, a certain former president of the United States 🇺🇸 (no names mentioned, but his initials are DT) declared that cryptocurrencies are “through the roof” – and, quite frankly, he’s not wrong. I mean, who needs actual money when you can have made-up internet cash? 💸

According to DT, the reason behind this crypto boom is his administration’s ingenious economic policies 🤓. Specifically, he pointed to the 47% rise in Nvidia stock since the implementation of new tariffs, because, you know, tariffs are the answer to all of life’s problems 🙄. “USA is taking in Hundreds of Billions of Dollars in Tariffs,” he wrote, proclaiming that the country is now “BACK” (in all caps, because subtlety is overrated) and calling on the Federal Reserve to “rapidly lower” interest rates, because who needs fiscal responsibility, anyway? 🤑

Meanwhile, in the real world, Bitcoin has shattered a new all-time high, briefly trading above $112,000 for the first time in history 🚀. Ethereum also saw renewed momentum, rising above $2,700, while altcoins followed with strong gains across the board, because why not? 🤷‍♂️ The crypto market, in particular, has been on a tear, with increasing institutional adoption, growing interest in Bitcoin ETFs, and a surge in global liquidity, because everyone loves a good speculative bubble 🎉.

DT’s post comes at a time when sentiment around crypto assets has reached a fever pitch 🤯. With inflation cooling and risk appetite returning, investors are flocking back into digital assets, because who needs actual value when you can have hype? 🚀 Trump’s pro-market messaging and emphasis on U.S. strength could further energize the crypto community, especially as regulatory uncertainty starts to wane ahead of the 2025 election, because nothing says “strength” like a bunch of made-up numbers on a screen 💪.

Whether DT’s bold rhetoric aligns with the Fed’s more cautious monetary stance remains to be seen, but one thing is clear: crypto is once again at the center of America’s economic and political conversation 🤦‍♂️. Because, you know, priorities 🙄.

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2025-07-10 18:21