Crypto Chaos: Trump Pardons CZ, Bitcoin Loans & Melania’s Coin Drama!

After weeks of market madness that felt like trying to assemble IKEA furniture blindfolded, things finally seem to be aligning. Like, finally. 🎉

Big banks are dipping their toes in, global regulators are scribbling down clearer rules (we think), and digital assets are becoming the cool kids at the finance party. 🥳

Missed out on this week’s drama? Don’t worry, love, I’ve got you covered. Here’s the tea. ☕

#1 Trump Pardons Binance Founder CZ

In a plot twist no one saw coming, U.S. President Donald Trump has pardoned Binance founder Changpeng “CZ” Zhao, calling his prosecution part of the Biden administration’s “war on crypto.” 🕵️‍♂️

CZ, who served four months in prison and coughed up $50 million, is now “deeply grateful” and ready to make America “the Capital of Crypto.” 🗽 The pushback? Oh, it’s real. 🤷‍♀️

A US Senator can’t get her facts right, in a public post about a person’s charge. There were NO money laundering changes.

The same Senator declared “war on crypto”, on public TV, 5 days before my sentencing, during the Biden Admin.

Need a better example of weaponization of…

– CZ BNB (@cz_binance) October 24, 2025

#2 Trump Tariffs Keep U.S. Inflation Hot at 3%, CPI Report Shows

U.S. inflation is still stubbornly high at 3%, according to the CPI report. Gasoline prices jumped 4.1%, and Trump’s tariffs are making everything from furniture to toys pricier. 🛋️🎮

Economists say inflation could rise further because, well, tariffs gonna tariff. 📈

#3 Bitcoin and Ether to Back Loans at JPMorgan

JPMorgan Chase is letting institutional clients use Bitcoin and Ether as collateral for loans. 🏦 Globally. With a third-party custodian. Because why not?! 🚀

This is a biggie, signaling how traditional banks are slowly but surely cozying up to crypto. 🥰

#4 Trump’s New CFTC Pick Michael Selig Seen as Win for Crypto Regulation

Trump has nominated Michael Selig, chief counsel for the CFTC’s crypto task force, to lead the agency. 🎖️

Selig’s appointment could bring much-needed clarity to crypto regulation, which is basically the equivalent of finding a missing puzzle piece under the sofa. 🧩

There’s nothing more important for crypto policy than the White House nominating a new CFTC chair and nobody better than @MikeSeligEsq for the job.

I’ve had the honor of knowing Mike for years and he’s the real deal: a brilliant lawyer and proven leader perfect for this role.

– Jake Chervinsky (@jchervinsky) October 2, 2025

#5 Bitcoin ETPs Finally Go Live in UK After FCA Ends 3-Year Ban

BlackRock has launched its iShares Bitcoin ETP (IB1T) on the London Stock Exchange, marking a major step for UK crypto access. 🇬🇧

“Today’s launch represents a landmark step for the U.K. market,” said 21Shares CEO Russel Barlow. About time, eh? ⏳

#6 Melania Trump’s $MELANIA Coin Sparks Fraud Allegations

The creators behind Melania Trump’s $MELANIA coin are facing a lawsuit accusing them of running a pump-and-dump scheme. 🚨

The coin hit a $1.6 billion market cap before crashing to $86 million. Melania isn’t named in the case, but her image was allegedly used as “window dressing.” Ladies and gentlemen, the crypto circus continues. 🎪

#7 Crypto.com Files for U.S. Trust Charter, Eyes Federal Status

Crypto.com has filed for a national trust charter with the OCC, joining the list of crypto firms chasing federal oversight. 🏛️

CEO Kris Marszalek said the company’s focus has always been on “regulated and secure offerings.” Sure, Kris. Sure. 🤔

#8 SEC, CFTC Set Year-End Crypto Goals Despite Washington Shutdown

Despite the U.S. government shutdown, the SEC and CFTC are pushing ahead with major crypto goals for year-end. 🏎️

Listed spot crypto trading and tokenized collateral by the end of the year @CFTC

– Caroline D. Pham (@CarolineDPham) October 22, 2025

SEC Chair Paul Atkins told CNBC the shutdown is slowing progress but hopes Congress will “let us get back to work.” Good luck with that, mate. 🤞

#9 Polymarket to Launch POLY Token, Airdrop After U.S. App Release

Polymarket is prepping a native POLY token and an airdrop, aiming for real utility and long-term value. 💎

But first, the U.S. app launch. Priorities, darling, priorities. 📱

#10 Russia Greenlights Crypto for Global Trade

Russia has officially backed the use of crypto for cross-border payments, marking a major shift in its financial strategy. 🇷🇺

Finance Minister Anton Siluanov said the move aims to make trade smoother and more transparent. Sure, Anton. Sure. 🤨

In the Spotlight 

Here’s a few quick hits you shouldn’t miss!

WazirX Resumes Trading After 16-Month Shutdown: India’s once-leading crypto exchange is back after a $230M hack. Trading has restarted in phases, but withdrawals remain frozen. 🧊

Trump Envoy Steve Witkoff Faces Senate Probe: U.S. senators are probing Witkoff’s ties to a $2B UAE-backed crypto firm. Ethics? What ethics? 🕵️‍♀️

Crypto Trading Firm FalconX to Acquire ETF Manager 21Shares: FalconX is buying crypto fund manager 21Shares. 🦅

Nasdaq-Listed Bonk Holdings Forms First BONK Digital Treasury: Bonk Holdings purchased $32M in BONK. 🐶

Hong Kong Approves First Spot Solana ETF, Trading Starts October 27: The SFC has cleared Asia’s first Solana ETF. 🌏

What’s Next for Crypto?

Major shifts to expect ahead:

  • Market sentiment is turning bullish again, because optimism is contagious. 📈
  • Policy clarity is replacing uncertainty, because rules are cool. 📜
  • Institutional adoption is accelerating, because everyone wants in. 🏦
  • Global momentum is shifting eastward, because Asia’s got swagger. 🌏
  • Trust and transparency are becoming the real drivers of credibility, because honesty is the best policy. 🤝

All eyes are on how policy, trust, and momentum align from here. We’ll be back next week! 🚀

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2025-10-25 15:53