Crypto Goes Splat! $150M Liquidated in Epic Fail Whale 🌊💸

by

Well, butter my biscuit and call me Liz Lemon, because the crypto market just face-planted harder than a 30 Rock blooper reel! Nearly $150 million in leveraged crypto long positions got liquidated in one hour. That’s right, Bitcoin, Ethereum, and XRP took a nosedive faster than Jenna Maroney’s career after “Rural Juror.” Total daily liquidations? A cool $464 million. Ouch. 😬💔

  • Hyperliquid was like, “Hold my latte,” and handled the biggest single order at $3.63 million. Boss move, but also, yikes. 🤑💥
  • 137k+ traders are now crying into their blockchain-themed pillows. Bitcoin led with $66.5 million in liquidations, because of course it did. It’s the Regina George of crypto. 👑🤦‍♀️
  • BTC dipped 1.7%, ETH 2.8%, and XRP a whopping 6.8%. Meanwhile, the broader crypto market was like, “I’m not crying, you’re crying!” and lost 2.19%. 😭📉

So, what happened? Apparently, Thursday, January 8th, was the day the crypto party bus hit a pothole. $88.23 million in longs got liquidated at 7:00 a.m. UTC, followed by $57.02 million at 8:00 a.m. That’s more drama than a Mean Girls cafeteria scene. 🚌💨

Liquidations in crypto top $150m

Hyperliquid was the star of this hot mess, with $45 million in liquidations. That $3.63 million order? Probably someone’s life savings. Or their kid’s college fund. Or their dog’s BarkBox subscription. 🐶🙈

In the past 24 hours, $464.44 million in liquidations hit over 137,000 traders. Bitcoin took the crown with $66.53 million, while Ethereum was like, “I’m still relevant!” with $33.78 million. XRP? Well, it’s still XRP. 🤷‍♀️

And let’s not forget the $486 million in ETF redemptions the day before. That’s more money than I’ve seen since NBC canceled my show. Wait, wrong Tina Fey reference. 😅📉

So, what’s the takeaway? Crypto is still wilder than Tracy Jordan on a sugar high. Strap in, folks, because this rollercoaster isn’t stopping anytime soon. 🎢🤪

Read More

2026-01-08 15:51