Lawmakers, like a pack of hounds, hound the SEC to let Americans gamble with retirement savings in crypto. Because why not? 🐾🤑
Nine U.S. lawmakers, armed with clipboards and caffeine, are now howling at the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) to fast-track President Trump’s executive order. The goal? Let Americans stuff their 401(k) piggy banks with crypto, real estate, and commodities. Because nothing says “secure retirement” like betting on a digital ledger that crashes faster than a soufflé in a hurricane. 🏦🔥
Trump’s Executive Order: A Gold Rush or a Fool’s Errand?
Back in August, Trump signed an executive order that would let 401(k) investors dip their toes into the crypto swamp. The order, which could’ve been titled “How to Lose a Fortune by Friday,” instructed the Labour Secretary to consult with the Treasury, SEC, and other regulators. Because nothing says “cautious policymaking” like throwing a bunch of alphabet agencies into the ring. 🤝📜
JUST IN: US lawmakers ask SEC to implement Trump’s order to flood the $12.5 trillion 401k market with crypto. Because why not turn pensions into a casino? 🎰💥
– Watcher.Guru (@WatcherGuru)
The idea, as explained by the Department of Labour, was to clarify the rules on adding alternative assets to retirement plans. The SEC, meanwhile, was asked to figure out how to make crypto more accessible. Which is like asking a librarian to organize a bonfire. 📚🔥
GOP Lawmakers: The SEC’s New Cheerleading Squad
A bipartisan (well, mostly GOP) group of nine lawmakers wrote a letter to SEC Chair Paul Atkins, urging them to “act swiftly” and help the Labour Secretary. Their argument? That 90 million Americans are missing out on crypto’s “opportunity.” Because nothing says “opportunity” like a 90% drop in your investment overnight. 📉😭
The letter also claimed that even a small crypto allocation could “improve risk-adjusted returns.” Because what every retiree needs is a dash of volatility in their golden years. 🐸💸
“We are hopeful that such actions will help Americans secure a dignified, comfortable retirement,” the letter read. If by “dignified” they mean “bankrupt but proud.” 😅
Crypto’s Big Bet on Retirement: A Roll of the Dice
Opening the $9.3 trillion 401(k) market to crypto could generate $93 billion in inflows-more than the Bitcoin ETFs of 2023. Because why let a few trillion dollars go to waste when you can hand it to a speculative asset that’s loved by influencers and hated by accountants? 🧾📈
IT’S SIGNED: TRUMP UNLOCKS $12.5T FOR CRYPTO!
President Trump has signed an order letting 401(k)s invest in crypto. Because nothing says “financial security” like a retirement account that could be worth zero by 2025. 🙌💸
– Coin Bureau (@coinbureau)
Analysts predict this could turn crypto into a “long-term investment strategy” for retirees. Because nothing’s more stable than a technology that’s still figuring out how to not get hacked. 🔐👾
The SEC’s Regulatory Tightrope Walk
The Labour Department, after briefly fearing crypto, reversed its stance and said, “Sure, why not?” The SEC now faces the task of revising regulations for retirement accounts. Because nothing’s scarier than trusting a government agency with your life savings. 🤷♂️💼
Bipartisan Efforts: More Talk Than Action
While Republicans lead the charge, some bipartisan efforts are focusing on redefining “accredited investors.” Because nothing says “democracy” like letting more people invest in things they don’t understand. 🤝🧐
Overall, the crypto-401(k) market could boom-or bust-quickly. Early adopters may diversify their portfolios, while others watch nervously, clutching their wallets like a teddy bear in a tornado. 🧸🌪️
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2025-09-24 08:23