Crypto PAC’s $100M Gambit: 3 ‘Essential’ Priorities (Spoiler: None Are Real!)

In the shadow of the White House, where the scent of digital gold mingles with the aroma of political machinations, a new PAC emerges-like a magician pulling rabbits from a hat, only this time the rabbits are $100 million and the hat is a cryptocurrency wallet. 🧙‍♂️💸

$100 Million To Boost Pro-Crypto Candidates

The Fellowship PAC, a glittering new entrant in the political arena, has pledged to pour over $100 million into the pockets of candidates who claim to love innovation, crypto, and the American dream. 🚨 But let’s not forget: in the land of the free, even freedom has a price-paid in stablecoins and sarcasm. 🐍

What sets this PAC apart? Transparency, they say. Trust, they swear. One might wonder if their “trust” is as solid as a blockchain in a thunderstorm. 🌩️ Yet, here we are, dancing to the tune of a political orchestra where the conductor is a crypto bro with a spreadsheet. 🎻

The PAC aims to build on the Trump administration’s “visionary” crypto framework, which, if we’re being honest, is less a roadmap and more a doodle in the sand. 🏖️ But hey, if the US can become the “digital asset capital,” maybe they’ll finally fix the roads too. 🚗

Progress? The GENIUS Act for stablecoins is hailed as a triumph, but let’s not forget: stablecoins are as stable as a teetering stack of Jenga blocks. 🧱 Yet, the crypto crowd cheers like it’s the end of the world. 🎉

Super PACs Gear Up For 2026 Midterms

The Fellowship PAC’s goals are as clear as a foggy morning in Moscow: support candidates who promise “transparent” regulations, protect America’s tech edge, and keep talent from fleeing to places where the internet isn’t censored by a government with a grudge. 🇺🇸🌍

But here’s the kicker: they want to stop talent from leaving by offering “clear guidelines.” Because nothing says “innovation” like a 100-page regulatory document written in legalese. 📄 Yet, the PAC assures us, “This is just the beginning!” – a phrase that has never been more ominous. 🚨

Meanwhile, super PACs like Fairshake have already spent $136 million on 58 candidates. The only thing more impressive than their spending? The number of people who still believe in the American dream. 🇺🇸💸

With $100 million ready for 2026, the crypto crowd is poised to make a splash-like a whale in a teacup. 🐋 But who’s really in charge? The PAC? The investors? Or the algorithm that decides who gets funded? 🤖

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2025-09-16 06:28