So, get this: Israel just grabbed three people—yes, three—because apparently being a spy is back in style. And one of them? Twenty-seven years old, lives in Tel Aviv, took stacks of crypto from the Iranians. Because why not make the CIA jealous and also get paid in bitcoin? Everybody loves bitcoin, right? 🕵️♂️💸
Tel Aviv Hipster: Spies For Crypto Like It’s an NFT Drop
Shin Bet and the Israeli police kicked off the weekend with a bang by nabbing a Tel Aviv resident, age 27, on suspicion of spying for Iran for—wait for it—cryptocurrency. You can’t make this stuff up. Crypto! Was the Mossad accountant on vacation? Supposedly, the guy raked in thousands for a little freelance espionage, like it’s Fiverr, except the gigs are all “spy on your neighbors.”
According to this report, the Shin Bet thinks this modern-day James Bond wannabe chatted with his Iranian handler who gave him a laundry list of greatest hits: snap a few pics of politicians’ houses, check out some military bases, maybe tag a wall or two. Basically, an Instagram influencer gig, plus state secrets.
They raided his apartment, found the usual spy gear—computers, some digital stuff, probably a couple of 2015 USB sticks. Probably not even password protected.
Now the Tel Aviv court says this guy’s gotta sit tight till June 26. “We’ll let you know if you’re going to actual jail or just a Reddit AMA,” I assume is how that conversation went.
The police and Shin Bet came together—like some kind of Marvel crossover—and issued a statement that basically amounted to, “Hey, if an Iranian slides into your DMs, maybe don’t send him your bank PIN. Or blueprints for the army base down the street.” They’re warning that Iranian intelligence LOVES social media, which, let’s be honest, so does everyone’s grandma these days.
Law enforcement is cracking down, promising to go full “Curb Your Enthusiasm” severe on anyone caught monkeying around with state secrets for cash (or Dogecoin, who knows at this point).
And it wasn’t just our Tel Aviv friend. A 19-year-old in central Israel got scooped up too (honestly, shouldn’t these kids be playing video games?). The accusation: sharing secret info with Iran, apparently for internet points? Oh, and in Haifa, some guy named Dmitry Cohen is in the mix now—he’s accused of “conducting surveillance.” I guess the Iranians went on LinkedIn and just started sliding into everyone’s inbox.
No surprise: this isn’t even the first time. A few months ago, Israel nabbed seven more in Haifa for, you guessed it, the same thing. At this rate, is anyone not working for the Iranians? Somebody check the barista at the corner café! ☕🕶️
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2025-06-24 15:55