Hoolie Tejwani, our crypto guru and the main brain behind Coinbase Ventures, spilled some seriously hot tea in a recent Milk Road interview. Apparently, the classic 4-year crypto cycle? Yeah, it’s about as relevant as a flip phone at an Apple Store. Coinbase Ventures has made over 600 investments-because why not throw money around like confetti at a parade?
So, what gives? Well, Bitcoin ETFs have rolled into town, and suddenly everyone is treating Bitcoin like it’s the new gold for their 401k. These aren’t your average day traders with a gambling addiction; they’re more like the tortoises in a race-slow and steady, holding on for decades. Who knew we’d see such commitment from crypto enthusiasts? It’s like watching someone marry their high school sweetheart-wholesome, but shocking.
And let’s talk liquidity, or should I say the lack thereof? It’s thinner than my patience waiting for a new season of my favorite show. With over 10,000 assets popping up like mushrooms after a rainstorm, prediction markets and perpetual trading are stealing all the limelight from good ol’ spot markets. Talk about drama!
“I really question whether there is such thing as a four-year crypto cycle anymore,” Tejwani confessed. Well, that’s a plot twist!
A Token Picker’s Market
If cycles are out of style, what’s in? Tejwani calls it a “long-term token picker market.” Think of it as shopping for investments that actually have real revenue, actual users, and aren’t just a bunch of crypto dreams. You know, like finding a decent avocado at the grocery store-rare but rewarding.
He also pointed out that down markets like this one are where the serious builders come out to play. It’s like a zombie movie where the real heroes emerge when the apocalypse hits.
“We’re looking for missionaries, not mercenaries. We’re looking for folks who are signed up for like a 5-10 year vision,” he added. So, basically, if you’re in it for the short game, you might as well hit the road.
Where Is Coinbase Ventures Investing?
The firm is diving headfirst into five juicy areas: stablecoin infrastructure (which Tejwani described as having 100x potential-no pressure), perpetuals, real-world asset tokenization, DeFi, privacy, and the spicy combo of crypto x AI. Who doesn’t love a good mashup?
On the AI front, he drew a line sharper than my grandmother’s wit. Agent tokens that trade for you? Likely just “AI slop.” The real gold lies in infrastructure: think payment rails for machine-to-machine transactions, identity systems for agents, and decentralized AI training. Basically, it’s a whole new world of ‘How to be a tech genius without breaking a sweat.’
Retail Could Get Access to Private Deals
Coinbase decided to shake things up by acquiring Echo, aiming to open the gates of early-stage investing to regular folks. Because let’s face it, the current accredited investor rules are as outdated as dial-up internet.
With the Genius Act passed and the Clarity Act still pending, more products could be on the horizon. Buckle up, because this ride is just getting started, and it’s about to get wilder than a reality TV show reunion!
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- tag under 100 characters. No tags, no colors, retain images, add humor and sarcasm with emojis. Also, the title shouldn’t be repeated in the body. First, I need to understand Bill Bryson’s style. He’s known for witty, engaging, and slightly irreverent commentary, often with a mix of humor and informative content. I should infuse that into the rewritten text. The original text is about crypto pundits being bullish on Bitcoin despite stagflation fears and Fed rate cut hopes. The title needs to be catchy and clickbait. Let me brainstorm some options. Maybe something like “Bitcoin’s Bull Run: Will Stagflation Spoil the Party? 🚀💸” That’s under 100 characters and includes emojis. It’s catchy and hints at the conflict between bullish crypto and economic concerns. Next, the body. Replace technical jargon with more conversational and humorous language. For example, instead of “sluggish growth,” maybe “economic snoozefest.” Use emojis to add flair.Analyzing the situation… Ensure the structure remains the same, keeping all the images in place. Add some sarcastic remarks, like comparing economic data to a reality TV show or mentioning that experts are “optimistic despite the chaos.” Check for any tags and remove them. Don’t apply any color styles. Make sure the title is only in the tag and not repeated elsewhere. Verify that all images are retained and the HTML structure is correct. Also, ensure the humor and sarcasm are present without being too over the top. Maybe add a joke about the Fed’s rate cuts being a “magic wand” or stagflation being a “ghost story.” Finally, proofread to ensure the character count for the title is under 100 and that the HTML is valid. Make sure the rewritten text flows naturally in Bryson’s style, with a mix of informative content and light-hearted commentary. Done in 8s. Bitcoin’s Bull Run: Will Stagflation Spoil the Party? 🚀💸 What to know: The U.S. economy is playing a game of hot potato with stagflation, mixing stagnant growth and rising prices like a bad reality TV show. Crypto gurus are still bullish on Bitcoin, eyeing Fed rate cuts and a “structural bull run” that makes Wall Street look like a toddler’s scribble. They’ve already picked their favorite altcoins to ride the next crypto rollercoaster. Spoiler: Solana is the golden child. Thursday’s economic data dropped a bombshell: the U.S. might be flirting with stagflation. You know, that 1970s nightmare of stagnant growth, job market limbo, and inflation that makes your coffee cost $50? Yeah, it’s back. But crypto enthusiasts? They’re sipping margaritas on a digital beach, ignoring the storm. 🏖️ Why the optimism? Because the Federal Reserve is expected to play magician, pulling rate cuts out of a hat to keep the market’s heart beating. Meanwhile, the S&P 500 is hitting all-time highs like it’s a TikTok dance challenge, and the dollar index is on a downward spiral faster than my Wi-Fi during a Zoom call. 💀 Shane Molidor of Forgd, a crypto oracle with a side of swagger, told CoinDesk, “Bitcoin’s the new gold-plated piggy bank for people who hate fiat money. It’s not just a gamble-it’s a hedge against your savings being turned into confetti by governments.” August’s inflation report? A 0.4% monthly spike, pushing the annual rate to 2.9%. Meanwhile, unemployment claims hit a four-year high. Oh, and the BLS just admitted they miscalculated jobs data for 2025. Classic! 🤷♂️ Bitcoin briefly hit $116,000-because why not?-while altcoins like Solana (SOL), Chainlink (LINK), and Dogecoin are doing cartwheels. Traders are betting the Fed will cut rates by 25 basis points in September, and who are we to argue? They’ve been cutting rates since the invention of the wheel. 🚀 Le Shi of Auros made a point so obvious it’s almost profound: the “Magnificent 7” stocks are stagflation-proof because they’re spending billions on AI. If you can’t beat the economy, outsource your problems to robots. 🤖 Sam Gaer of Monarq Asset Management summed it up: “Stagflation is a ghost story. The Fed’s magic wand (aka rate cuts) will calm the markets, and crypto will keep climbing like it’s on a sugar high.” Markus Thielen of 10x Research added, “Inflation’s about to take a nosedive. Risk assets? They’re dancing on a tightrope while the Fed waves a green flag. Buckle up for the ride.” Standout tokens Bitcoin’s not the only star in the crypto galaxy. Solana (SOL) is the new kid on the block, with demand so hot it could melt a Bitcoin miner’s GPU. SOLBTC is flirting with the 0.002 level, and investors are throwing money at it like it’s Black Friday in Web3. 🛒 Then there’s Ethena’s ENA token and its synthetic dollar, USDe, which is basically the crypto version of a money tree. And Hyperliquid’s HYPE token? It’s the go-to for young investors who think “high-risk, high-reward” is just a lifestyle. 🎢 Shane Molidor quipped, “Hyperliquid’s for people who want to trade like they’re in a casino, not a library. And Ethena? It’s the crypto equivalent of a free lunch when the Fed cuts rates. Who needs sleep when you’ve got yield?” So, will stagflation crash the party? Probably not. The Fed’s rate cuts are the ultimate party favor, and crypto’s the DJ spinning the tracks. Just don’t forget to bring sunscreen for the bull run. ☀️
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2026-01-27 15:21