Do Kwon: From Crypto King to Forgery Fugitive ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’ธ

Well, butter my biscuit and call me disappointed-Do Kwon, the crypto wunderkind turned international man of mystery, might finally be ready to throw in the towel. ๐ŸฅŠโœจ According to a Bloomberg report, our favorite algorithmic stablecoin architect could plead guilty to fraud for his role in the $40 billion collapse of TerraUSD (UST). Because nothing says “Iโ€™m sorry” like a multi-billion-dollar oopsie. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

Judge Paul Engelmayer, presumably tired of Kwonโ€™s shenanigans, has asked him to prepare a heartfelt explanation of how he violated the law-you know, just in case he decides to go the guilty route. ๐ŸŽญ Meanwhile, Kwonโ€™s been living his best life, jet-setting with a forged passport until he was nabbed in Montenegro in 2023. Because who needs a valid passport when youโ€™ve got $40 billion in losses to distract everyone? โœˆ๏ธ๐Ÿคก

After a two-year extradition drama that rivaled a bad soap opera, Kwon finally landed in the U.S., where he initially pleaded “not guilty” in January. But hey, even the best cons eventually run out of steam. ๐Ÿงจ In 2024, a New York jury found him and Terraform Labs liable for lying about a Korean payments platform using their blockchain. Shocking, I know-a crypto bro stretching the truth? Never! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

Turns out, investors were also misled about the stability of UST, which was supposed to be as steady as a yoga instructor but ended up more like a drunk toddler on a balance beam. ๐Ÿง˜โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฅ The mechanism went haywire, inflating assets like a Thanksgiving turkey, and causing prices to plummet faster than my self-esteem after reading a bad review. ๐Ÿฆƒ๐Ÿ“‰

To settle with the SEC, Kwon and his crew coughed up $4.47 billion-pocket change, really. ๐Ÿ’ฐ His trial is set for January 28, 2026, and is expected to last 1-2 months, which is just enough time for him to perfect his prison yard stand-up routine. ๐ŸŽค Meanwhile, the DOJ has reminded us that if convicted, Kwon could face 130 years behind bars. So, you know, plenty of time to write that memoir: *โ€œHow I Lost $40 Billion and Found Myself (in Prison).โ€* ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ”’

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2025-08-13 22:50