Messieurs et Mesdames, assemblez-vous, for what a spectacle unfolds before our greedy eyes! By the mystical calculations of the house SoSoValue (whose name suggests a certain modesty, yet their numbers are anything but), the funds called exchange-traded, and more specifically, those devoted to Ethereum, have for the first time in history amassed a torrent exceeding $1 billion in a single day. Oh, mon Dieu! The banker’s purse must be gasping for breath! 🤯
But who, you ask, carries the lion’s share of this fabulous bounty? It is none other than Monsieur BlackRock, with his flamboyant iShares Ethereum Trust ETF (ETHA)-he slides $640 million across the table with a flourish fit for Versailles! Money tricks worthy of Harpagon himself! 💸
And let us not forget Dame Fidelity, whose Ethereum Fund (FETH) sweeps in an additional $276 million-because why should BlackRock have all the theatrical applause? In this ballet, the competition pirouettes with poise.
Recently, it was reported by those modern gossip-mongers of U.Today that Ethereum ETFs dived into the abyss of outflows. Alas! But see how fortune reverses like a cunning valet-now inflows surge anew, as if determined to teach us the value of patience (or at least the value of watching other people’s money). 📈
In sum, the Ethereum ETFs flaunt a jaw-dropping $25.71 billion in total net assets. Yes, the sum represents nearly 5% of the altcoin’s market cap-never have we seen a party with so many zeros, and so few invitations for the rest of us! 🥳
Bitcoin ETFs, the Fallen Stars 🌑
Meanwhile, in the wings of our little comedy, poor Bitcoin ETFs sulk with a mere $178.15 million in inflows-about as modest as a miser’s tip. SoSoValue’s data confirms: after previously crushing Ethereum in a contest fit for dueling nobles, the Bitcoin ETFs are now pretending not to care as the audience’s affection drifts elsewhere.
BlackRock’s iShares Bitcoin Trust (IBIT) brings forth $138 million-less than Dame Fidelity’s FETH! Perhaps time for IBIT to don a more alluring costume? Alas, even Fidelity’s Wise Origin Bitcoin Fund (FBTC) arrives at the ball with only $13 million. One suspects their invitation got lost in the mail-or perhaps they arrived fashionably late, minus the fashion. 😬
ETH/BTC-A Love Affair in the Candlestick Charts 💏
As our crypto drama unfolds, ETH/BTC continues its relentless climb, surpassing the fabled 0.036 BTC mark with a confidence that would make Don Juan blush. The pair is up a dizzying 55% in just two months-if only my bank account followed suit!
ETH, with all the swagger of a baron seeking favor at court, advances toward its all-time high of $4,878, now flirting at $4,293. Who among us will dare resist such charm? Ah, the heart wants what the chart commands! 😍
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2025-08-12 09:31