Ethereum: Seriously?! 🙄

Okay, so Ethereum dipped below $3,900 last week. Like, a *big* dip. And now? Now it’s kinda…going up? These “analysts” – and I use that term loosely – are all excited about “key technical levels.” What are key technical levels, anyway? Just numbers people made up to sound important, probably. 🤔

Everyone’s holding their breath to see if it can break through $4,350. Apparently, that’s where rallies go to die. It’s like a velvet rope for crypto. Very exclusive. Very annoying. 😒

Price Moves Toward $4,350 Area (Whatever That Means)

It’s at $4,180 right now, up 2%. $36 *billion* in volume. Thirty-six *billion*. You know how many bagels you could buy with that? And this guy, Daan Crypto Trades – a very creative name, I must say – he’s saying it “reclaimed” something called a “range low.” The range. Like it’s a ranch. Honestly. 🤠 He’s babbling about moving averages and EMAs. Look, I just want to know if my little investment will make me enough for a decent pastrami on rye. Is that too much to ask?

$ETH So far so good.

Got close to the mid range and the big $4.3K price level where we traded at for a while during the last consolidation. We also have the 4H 200MA/EMA coming in right above.

If ETH wants to make its way back to the range high, I want to see ~$4350 flipped.…

– Daan Crypto Trades (@DaanCrypto) September 30, 2025

“Flipped”? Seriously? Is it a pancake now? This whole thing is just…a lot. And he says $4,065 is the key. Drop below *that*, and forget about it. It’s doomed! Doomed, I tell ya! 😩

Support Break Triggers a Liquidity Grab (Sounds Shady)

Then there’s Merlijn The Trader. What a name. He says there was a “liquidity grab.” A *grab*? What does that even mean? Are they physically grabbing money off the internet? I need a nap. He claims it’s how it rallies… after it forces people out. Sounds predatory. 🤨

“Liquidity grabbed. RSI reset to oversold. This is the exact setup that birthed every violent reversal.”

“Violent reversal.” Lovely. Like a bad date. But now it’s back up. Great. Back to square one. Or rather back to $4,180. Which is…something, I guess.

ETH/BTC Monthly Chart Shows Reversal Pattern (More Patterns!)

CRYPTOWZRD – another amazing name – says there’s a “Morning Star” forming. A *star*? Is this astrology now? It’s a three-candle thing. Drop, pause, bounce. In other words, more confusing jargon. He says it’s like 2021. Oh good, we’re comparing everything to 2021 now. That was a simpler time… when I didn’t have to worry about “liquidity grabs.” 😫

MORNING STAR

The last bullish candle from this zone led to the parabolic run..

$ETH against $BTC is on the verge of a major +103.37% run, hold on tight…

Hold on tight

– CRYPTOWZRD (@cryptoWZRD_) September 29, 2025

So, hold on tight. That’s the plan? Just…hold on tight? Okay. I’m holding on tight. But if it dips again, I’m blaming all of you. Especially Daan, Merlijn, and…CRYPTOWZRD. It’s their fault. It always is.

2025-09-30 13:02

Price Moves Toward $4,350 Area (Whatever That Means)

Support Break Triggers a Liquidity Grab (Sounds Shady)

ETH/BTC Monthly Chart Shows Reversal Pattern (More Patterns!)

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