Once upon a very peculiar Wednesday, in the land of suits and suspiciously shiny shoes, something fantastically odd happened at the mighty Federal Reserve. Chris Waller, known to some as The Stablecoin Sorcerer, to others as “that chap who likes digital money!”, suddenly sashayed into view as the top-pick to become the Fed Chairman.
Of course, all this is happening right in the midst of a power squabble that puts most playground brawls to shame: President Donald Trump vs. Jerome Powell, current master of mysterious rate controls.
Trump’s Pick: The Plot Thickens! 🕵️♂️💸
For months and months, Trump’s been huffing and puffing at Jerome Powell for daring to keep market interest rates lounging stubbornly between 4.25% and 4.50%. You see, the idea of lower rates-which might make the economy bounce like a hyperactive child on a sugar rush-appeals to Trump rather poorly, while Powell, calm as a sleepy badger, frets over runaway inflation.
What followed was a soap opera worthy of a golden Emmy: Trump’s hints of firing Powell, pushing him to exit stage left, and gossip swirling about who’d be handed the magic scepter next. But Powell, clever as a fox, might just grandpa-shuffle his way through till May 2026, daring anyone to snatch his throne.
Enter Jim Bianco (who spends more time on X than most owls), waving about Polymarket charts brighter than a Vegas neon sign, all saying: “Waller! Waller! He’s our man!”
Waller, brought in during 2020 and groomed in the ways of cryptic currencies, is apparently the favorite child among Trump’s team for when Powell finally abdicates. In the last Federal Open Market Committee meeting-a drama complete with voting, sighing, and possibly the tossing of a stale bagel-Waller teamed up with Michelle Bowman in voting for an interest rate cut. But alas, their efforts met a swift and unceremonious 9-2 defeat.
If-by some twist of fate-Waller becomes Fed King come May 2026, he might just turn the rate-cut dial in favor of Trump, and let loose a shower of dollars upon the land.
And don’t forget: Waller has serenaded stablecoins before, singing sweet ballads about their power to upend the payments industry and make the US dollar as irresistible as chocolate cake at a diet convention.
The Crypto Cacophony 🎩🪙
Right now, the total crypto market cap is flexing at a whopping $3.87 trillion after a 1.27% gain (not bad for a Tuesday!). Trading volume sparkles at $174.14 billion, which, in crypto terms, is practically a mob of goblins dancing.
Everyone knows (well, except your aunt) that cutting interest rates makes investors giddily reckless, plunging coins, bills, and dreams into digital assets. If Trump and his band of merry pro-crypto pranksters get their way, who knows? Perhaps Bitcoin will be accepted at 31 Flavors and Dogecoin will buy you a ticket to Mars.
All in all, it’s shaping up to be a delightfully absurd spectacle-so keep your popcorn close and your cryptos closer.
Read More
- ETH PREDICTION. ETH cryptocurrency
- Gold Rate Forecast
- Silver Rate Forecast
- USD BRL PREDICTION
- DOGE PREDICTION. DOGE cryptocurrency
- JUP PREDICTION. JUP cryptocurrency
- EUR GBP PREDICTION
- USD COP PREDICTION
- PI PREDICTION. PI cryptocurrency
- LSETH PREDICTION. LSETH cryptocurrency
2025-08-09 15:56