France’s Nuclear Nonsense: Bitcoin Mining & State Control 😂💣

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In the shadow of France’s bureaucratic labyrinth, where the scent of old parchment mingles with the hum of reactors, a cabal of National Rally lawmakers has conjured a vision both absurd and grandiose: to transform surplus nuclear electrons into digital gold. A modern alchemy, perhaps, or a bureaucratic fever dream?

  • 76 French lawmakers, led by the National Rally, have proposed a five-year Bitcoin mining pilot using surplus nuclear energy.
  • France’s nuclear fleet produces over 70% of the country’s electricity.
  • Lawmakers argue the initiative would reduce economic losses tied to the sale of excess electricity at low market rates.

According to Le Monde, the far-right deputies have framed Bitcoin mining as a “solution” to France’s energy excesses—a problem born of their own policy failures. They claim the country’s nuclear grid, a marvel of engineering, is underutilized, and thus ripe for monetization. One might almost believe in progress if not for the stench of opportunism.

Why are French lawmakers turning to Bitcoin mining?

France’s grid, a nuclear behemoth, churns out more electricity than the market demands. During off-peak hours, it spills electrons like a drunken philosopher spills words—pointlessly, wastefully. The National Rally, ever the pragmatists, suggests converting this excess into Bitcoin, as if blockchain could absolve the sins of mismanagement.

They argue that surplus electricity, often sold at a loss or discarded, could be “productively used” to mine cryptocurrency. A noble goal, one might say, if not for the irony of leveraging state power to chase speculative digital assets. After all, what is a sovereign state if not a machine for printing money—and now, for minting Bitcoin?

The National Rally frames this as a matter of sovereignty and reindustrialization. Yet one wonders: Is this reindustrialization or a desperate gamble? By mining Bitcoin, they claim, France could ease the financial strain on its nuclear fleet—though one suspects the real strain comes from decades of socialist overreach.

Supporters insist this strategy would stabilize the grid and attract investment in digital infrastructure. A bold promise, though history suggests that state-led ventures often resemble a game of Russian roulette—only with more paperwork.

A five-year trial

Last month, 76 lawmakers submitted a proposal to the National Assembly, calling for a Bitcoin mining pilot using surplus nuclear energy. The plan, a bureaucratic ballet of decrees and oversight mechanisms, envisions mining centers co-located with reactors, harvesting idle electrons during low-demand hours.

These centers, they claim, would shut down automatically when demand rises—presumably to avoid disrupting the delicate balance between power and powerlessness. The proposal also includes lofty secondary goals: recovering heat from mining rigs, reindustrializing abandoned infrastructure, and stimulating local economies. One might almost laugh if not for the seriousness with which these ideas are presented.

Estimates from ADAN suggest that redirecting one gigawatt of surplus electricity could generate $100–150 million annually. A tidy sum, though one wonders how much of it will vanish into the void of state bureaucracy before reaching the people.

Bitcoin mining trends across the globe

France is not alone in its utopian delusions. Around the world, governments have embraced Bitcoin mining as a tool of energy optimization and economic development. In Pakistan, they plan to divert 2,000 megawatts to mining and AI data centers—a bold move in a country where electricity shortages are the norm. In Bhutan, the government has mined over 11,400 BTC since 2020, a figure equivalent to nearly 40% of its GDP. And in El Salvador, Bitcoin is legal tender, powered by geothermal energy from volcanoes—though one suspects the lava might be more reliable than the economy.

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2025-08-04 10:42