Ah, Gemini! That most… *peculiar* of crypto exchanges has decided to grace the public markets with its presence. And what a spectacle it is! Apparently, there were more hands outstretched for shares than fleas on a stray dog. More than twenty times the amount, you understand! Twenty! One begins to suspect the entire affair is fueled by nothing more than a collective delusion.
They’ve fiddled with the price, naturally – upped it from a rather modest 17 to 19 to a positively extravagant 24 to 26. As if simply *declaring* a higher price will solve all the world’s problems. Shares will begin their trembling existence on the Nasdaq, bearing the unfortunate moniker of GEMI, this Friday. One shudders to think what fate awaits them.
Investor Frenzy Pushes Gemini IPO to the Limit (or Does It?)
The Winklevoss twins, those celebrated oarsmen who somehow now dabble in digital coin, founded this concern in the year 2014. The investors, like moths to a flickering lamp, have swarmed. This IPO, they say, was oversubscribed. Twenty times over! One almost expects to see flocks of speculators attempting to *scale* the Nasdaq building. Investor “appetite” they call it. I call it reckless abandon. 😇
Despite the frantic demand, they’ve capped the proceedings at a paltry $425 million. A deliberate restraint, they say. I say, a clever trick to maintain an air of exclusivity. At the upper limit of their inflated pricing, they believe their little exchange is worth $3.1 billion. Based on, and this is important, *reported* figures. As if any report from this industry can be believed without a generous dose of salt. They’ve also set aside a portion of these shares for ‘selected parties’. Oh, the intrigue! The corruption! 🕵️
Raise the price further, they warn, and the number of shares will dwindle. As if anyone cares about the *number* when the price is soaring! Such is the mania.
Nasdaq itself, in a moment of… enthusiasm?… has flung $50 million at Gemini. And Goldman Sachs and Citigroup, those pillars of financial responsibility, have already ceased accepting orders. Overwhelmed, you see. Overwhelmed by the sheer number of fools eager to part with their money.
Gemini does operate in 60 countries, which is a considerable feat of bureaucracy, and boasts a lifetime trading volume of $285 billion. They also possess a modest hoard of 4,002 bitcoin and 10,444 ether. A king’s ransom, naturally. But…
…but here’s the crux of the matter. A loss of $282.5 million in the first half of 2025! Compared to, admittedly, a smaller loss the year before. Revenue *declined* as well. A touch concerning, wouldn’t you agree? Perhaps this whole affair is less a triumphant ascent and more a beautifully orchestrated descent. 📉
Crypto Listings Fuel Billions but Volatility Remains (and Probably Will)
Others of this… *genre* have attempted the public market gambit. Figure Technology, Bullish, Circle – all jostling for attention. A ‘friendlier climate’ they claim. I suspect it’s merely a lull before the storm.
Bullish shares, alas, have plummeted. A rather humbling 43.58% decline. Circle is experiencing a less dramatic, yet still unsettling, rollercoaster ride. Up and down, up and down, like a particularly indecisive acrobat. These stocks, you see, are… volatile. A polite way of saying they are wildly unpredictable and prone to existential crises. A true reflection of the entire crypto world, wouldn’t you say? 😄
So, proceed with caution, dear reader. For in this world of digital coin and public offerings, one needs a strong constitution, a keen eye for deception, and perhaps, a very large bottle of smelling salts.
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2025-09-12 04:32