How the Modern Financial World Is Turning into a Comedy of Errors: Kraken’s Silly Adventures

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In an astonishing display of audacity, Kraken has set its sights on acquiring Backed Finance AG, with the delightful aim of thrusting tokenized equities firmly into the grand stage of global finance – as if we needed more spectacle, dear reader! 😉

Backed to Join Kraken as Tokenized Stocks Bring Cheers and Jeers Worldwide

Kraken has graciously consented to take in Backed Finance AG, the distinguished issuer of xStocks, ostensibly to hasten the march of tokenized equities into the spotlight while simultaneously securing its dominion over this promising yet somewhat chaotic sector. 🎭

According to the esteemed Kraken, this move is part of a lofty pursuit to make capital markets more open, interoperable, and quite possibly less sane – a noble ambition for an industry still debating whether it belongs in the respectable world of finance or just entertaining the curious masses. The company boasts that Backed’s xStocks platform has, since early 2025, grown faster than some democracies, surpassing a staggering $10 billion in combined exchange and onchain trading volume within a mere six months. Truly, a marvel of modern enterprise! 😅

This splendid acquisition provides Backed with the capital and infrastructure necessary to scale new heights, especially as institutional curiosity about tokenized equities mounts – as if fund managers needed another reason to stay awake at night. The plan? To unify issuance, trading, and settlement under one roof, attempting to tame the tangled web of intermediaries – because nothing says ‘trustworthy finance’ like a good old-fashioned streamlining. 🕸️

“Integrating Backed into Kraken enhances the core architecture necessary for open and programmable capital markets,” declares Kraken’s Co-CEO, Arjun Sethi, with a smile that perhaps masks a smirk. 😉

Today, xStocks offers its users more than 60 tokenized equities and ETFs, all backed 1:1 by their underlying assets and trading across multiple chains including Solana and Ethereum. And guess what? The platform supports round-the-clock trading, because who needs sleep when you can have digital assets flitting about 24/7? 🚀

Kraken envisions integrating xStocks into its broader empire, including its global money app, enabling customers to hold or spend tokenized equities – because nothing screams stability like digital stocks in your pocket! The Backed team will join the Kraken family (ahem, circus), bolstering issuance and compliance infrastructure as they aim to extend tokenized assets beyond mere equities. 🎪

Co-founder Adam Levi termed this acquisition a timely acceleration of a vision crafted since 2021: a brave yet compliant bridge uniting crypto and traditional finance, a goal as ambitious as trying to herd cats. Kraken, ever the strategist, frames this as part of a series of acquisitions – including Breakout, Small Exchange, and Ninjatrader – all designed to support its vertically integrated temple of custody, clearing, settlement, and market data. 🏛️

The grand finale? Kraken believes this structure grants it an unfair advantage in rolling out new real-world assets (RWAs) on open, globally accessible rails – because nothing says ‘future’ like a platform that might just be a house of cards! 🃏

FAQ ❓

  • What is Kraken acquiring?
    Kraken is snatching up Backed Finance AG, the clever issuer behind xStocks, to boost its tokenized asset pretensions. 🎩
  • Why does this deal matter?
    Because the goal is to make tokenized equities as common as tea and crumpets, unifying issuance, trading, and settlement for the delight of all (or at least those still awake). ☕
  • What does xStocks offer?
    More than 60 tokenized equities and ETFs, all backed 1:1, available 24/7 across chains – because who needs conventional exchanges anymore? 🌎
  • How will Kraken use Backed’s tech?
    By integrating it into its broad empire, supporting a wider adoption of onchain assets, because the future apparently involves stocks that never sleep. 💤

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2025-12-02 23:00