Meet the Bitcoin Holder Who Just Made 965 Million Percent Profit – Here’s the Craziest Part!

In the wild, untamed world of cryptocurrency, one brave (or maybe just lucky) Bitcoin (BTC) holder has managed to cash out a staggering 965,517,137% profit after recently selling off some of their ancient, untouched coins. If that doesn’t sound like a plotline from a Netflix documentary, I don’t know what does. 🤑

The Old Bitcoin Trader Strikes Again

So, here’s the backstory. A Bitcoin holder from the legendary “Satoshi era” (no, not the moon, but close) decided to cash in some of their dusty coins that had been sitting untouched for years. CryptoQuant’s Maartunn called it the “wild on-chain story of the day.” And honestly, at this point, anything with the word ‘wild’ in it should come with popcorn. 🍿

It all started with a wallet that had a humble 13 BTC. This trader, however, is no average crypto cowboy. Oh no, they’ve been slowly selling about 1 BTC per year since 2018. That’s right, 1 BTC per year. Not 100, not 1000, just 1. Talk about patience (or maybe procrastination?).

Then, just three days ago, this genius (or risk-taking daredevil) sold 1.02 BTC for a cool $84,000. Let that sink in. These coins were mined back in 2013, in the early days of Slush Pool (now Braiins), the very first mining pool. Back then, a single Bitcoin was worth… well, less than a sandwich. The coins had a realized price of $0.0087 each. Yes, less than one cent. So, by selling 1 BTC for $84,000, this trader turned a minuscule investment into a gargantuan gain – more than 9.6 million times the original stake. I’m just going to say it again: 9.6 MILLION TIMES. 😱

This is the stuff of legends, folks. An early miner, who held onto their coins like a precious collection of vintage stamps, has now reaped the rewards. And here’s the kicker: they never sold during the 2011, 2013, 2017, or 2021 bull runs. No, this person was as calm as a monk during bear markets too. They’ve been the ultimate “HODLer” long before it was cool.

Now, they’re cashing out slowly, one Bitcoin per year. And the best part? Their remaining stash? It’s still growing in value. You’d think that they’ve got the Midas touch, but really, it’s all about timing. Maybe they just knew what they were doing when they mined those coins back in 2013. Maybe they didn’t. Who knows?

Institutions Still Don’t Get It, Apparently

But while the seasoned, quiet Bitcoin holders are living the dream, institutional investors like BlackRock are still busy selling off their holdings like it’s a Black Friday sale. On November 24, BlackRock deposited a hefty 2,822 BTC into Coinbase Prime. The crypto community, of course, reacted as if it was the most dramatic plot twist ever. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

The crypto market seems to be showing some signs of life, with Bitcoin making a slow and steady recovery towards $87,500. Yet, despite the market rebound, BlackRock continues its relentless sell-off. Last week alone, they offloaded over $2 billion worth of Bitcoin and Ethereum. Because, well, why not? It’s not like they’re ever going to run out of money. 🤷‍♂️

Meanwhile, the infamous Jim Chanos, the short-seller with a sense of humor, took a shot at Strategy Chairman Michael Saylor for not buying more Bitcoin during the recent price dip. Apparently, Chanos thinks Saylor missed the opportunity. Can we get a round of applause for Mr. Chanos, the man who always has something to say, especially when it involves public ridicule? 👏

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2025-11-25 17:52