Mel Brooks’ Cryptic Crypto Prophecy: Gold & Bitcoin to Soar… or Is It Just a Coin-Operated Mirage? 💰✨

Enter Dave the Wave, a trader so clairvoyant he practically *winked* at the 2021 crypto crash. Now he’s back, fresh off the blockchain, declaring, “Bitcoin and gold? They’re not done yet, folks! 🚀📈”

This self-proclaimed “Pied Piper of Price Action” (153,100 X followers strong!) claims gold’s just *loitering* near a magical trendline since 2024. Because nothing says “financial genius” like waiting two years for a chart line to wink back. 😏

“Gold’s stuck in a range… like my ex’s emotional availability.”

Gold’s currently priced at $3,325/ounce-a “marginal decrease” today. Sure, Dave. Blame it on the dog. 🐶💸

As for Bitcoin, Dave’s betting $112K is the “support level from here to the moon.” Despite BTC’s recent dip-like a rollercoaster with a hernia-it’s “still in the trend!” 🎢🪂

“BTC’s range? It’s holding. Like my grip on sanity during a Zoom call.”

He insists Bitcoin’s “bullish trend” is solid. Translation: “Don’t panic if it tanks… yet.” 🛑📉

“The trend’s still solid! Until it’s not. Then ask questions. Or don’t. I’m a chart, not a therapist.”

Dave’s grand finale? BTC might hit $170K “conservatively,” or $150K “by November!” Because nothing says “trust me” like a target that’s ±20K. 🎯💸

“In a manic market, BTC could go HIGHER! 🌶️🔥” (Cue record scratch. “Wait, ‘manic’? We’re all just *hypnotized*, Jerry!”)

Bitcoin’s now at $113,508-down 2.6%. But hey, “every sale’s a chance to rebuy! 🛍️🪙” (Said no broke hodler ever.)

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2025-08-20 20:44