The Nasdaq, ever the intrepid space traveler, has launched a daring bid to outwit the enigmatic realms of Kalshi and Polymarket. In a move that would make even the most seasoned interstellar trader blink, they’ve filed a proposal with the SEC to introduce “Outcome-Related Options” (OROs), a product so delightfully convoluted it’s sure to confuse both humans and their robot overlords.
If approved, OROs would let buyers wager on whether a contract’s price will be at, above, or below a predetermined strike price-because nothing says “financial innovation” like betting on the universe’s most bureaucratic entity to get its act together.
But Nasdaq isn’t alone in this cosmic chess game. The Cboe Global Markets, ever the eager apprentice, has been whispering sweet nothings to retail brokerages about reviving “all-or-nothing” options. It’s like watching a toddler try to juggle flaming torches while the SEC debates whether to call the CFTC for help.
OROs, set to trade between $0.01 and $1.00, are the financial equivalent of a child’s toy-small, simple, and utterly useless at predicting the future. Meanwhile, the CFTC, that paragon of regulatory clarity, continues to play the role of the confused bystander, wondering why the SEC keeps trying to claim its toys.
In a recent Senate hearing, SEC Chair Paul Atkins admitted that coordinating jurisdiction with the CFTC is “a huge issue”-a statement so profound it could fill a library. Or perhaps just a single paragraph in a news article.
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2026-03-02 22:44