Welcome, comrades, to the US Crypto News Morning Briefing-your daily dose of capitalist theater and financial absurdity. 📰✨
Pour yourself a vodka-the AI circus is back in town. Nvidia’s $500 billion resurrection has the markets frothing like a Bolshevik at a tsar’s funeral, but beneath the glitter, the rats are fleeing the ship. Euphoria reigns, yet the stench of doom lingers. 🍷💀
The Tale of the Day: Nvidia’s Half-Trillion Leap-SoftBank Flees, Burry Sounds the Alarm
Nvidia, the silicon overlord, has conjured a $500 billion miracle in two days, reigniting the AI frenzy. Yet, as the masses cheer, the wise whisper of bubbles and fraud. SoftBank, the cunning samurai of finance, has already cashed out, while Michael Burry, the Cassandra of Wall Street, warns of deception. 🧙♂️🔮
On Monday, Nvidia’s shares soared 5.8%, their grandest leap since April. Between Friday’s twilight and Monday’s dawn, the chip titan amassed $500 billion-$43 billion per trading hour. A feat so absurd, it could only exist in the land of the free and the home of the speculative. 🏛️💰
💥BREAKING:
NVIDIA SURGES BY 5.8% IN TODAY’S TRADING, ITS BIGGEST DAILY GAIN SINCE APRIL.
– Crypto Rover (@cryptorover) November 10, 2025
This rally follows a brutal week where Nvidia shed $800 billion, proving that in capitalism, the only constant is chaos. 🌀💸
“Nvidia added $500 billion in market cap in just 48 hours – entries into this historic run are scarce,” The Kobeissi Letter wrote. “Dip buyers are still out in full force.”
At $5.1 trillion, Nvidia now dwarfs six S&P 500 sectors combined. Its market cap surpasses the GDP of Italy, Spain, the UAE, and the Netherlands-a testament to the madness of crowds. 🌍💼
SoftBank’s Silent Exit: AI Love, Nvidia Goodbye
While the masses chase Nvidia’s siren song, SoftBank has slipped away, selling its $5.83 billion stake in October. The Japanese juggernaut, ever pragmatic, dubbed it “asset monetization”-a euphemism for “we saw the writing on the wall.” 🧭🚪
JUST IN: SoftBank announces it has sold its entire stake in $NVDA for $5.8 billion.
– Whale Insider (@WhaleInsider) November 11, 2025
This move fueled SoftBank’s ¥2.92 trillion ($19.1 billion) quarterly profit, doubling last year’s haul. CEO Masayoshi Son, ever the visionary, reaffirmed his “all-in” bet on AI, robotics, and data-just not Nvidia. 🤖🎲
“We want to provide a lot of investment opportunities while maintaining financial strength,” TradFi media reported, citing Goto.
Burry’s Ominous Warning: The AI Boom’s Rotten Core
Michael Burry, the man who saw the 2008 crash coming, now warns of AI’s fraudulent underbelly. Hyperscalers, he claims, are inflating earnings by extending the “useful life” of their Nvidia-powered toys-a classic fraud of the modern era. 🕵️♂️⚠️
Understating depreciation by extending useful life of assets artificially boosts earnings -one of the more common frauds of the modern era.
Massively ramping capex through purchase of Nvidia chips/servers on a 2-3 yr product cycle should not result in the extension of useful…
– Cassandra Unchained (@michaeljburry) November 10, 2025
Burry estimates $176 billion in hidden depreciation by 2028, which could overstate profits at Oracle and Meta by 27% and 21%, respectively. The emperor, it seems, has no silicon. 👑🤥
Analyst Ross Hendricks adds fuel to the fire, noting that AI’s current valuations require a 20x revenue surge in five years-or a capex collapse that could trigger a market meltdown. 🧮💥
The AI math ain’t mathin
Two ways to fix it: 20x revenue in the next five years, or slash data center capex
I’ll take the latter on 100 to 1 odds
So what does a capex pullback look like?
It means hyperscaler cloud computing earnings and NVDA chip sales evaporate.. and with…
– Ross Hendricks (@Ross__Hendricks) November 11, 2025
Yet the juggernaut rolls on, for now. Nvidia, the AI era’s crown jewel, powers everything from data centers to chatbots. But with SoftBank’s exit and Burry’s warnings, the stage is set for a reckoning. 🏰⚡
Chart of the Day
Byte-Sized Alpha
Crypto Equities Pre-Market Overview
| Company | At the Close of November 10 | Pre-Market Overview |
| Strategy (MSTR) | $238.88 | $237.13 (-0.73%) |
| Coinbase (COIN) | $317.93 | $315.45 (-0.78%) |
| Galaxy Digital Holdings (GLXY) | $31.79 | $31.49 (-0.94%) |
| MARA Holdings (MARA) | $15.58 | $15.60 (+0.13%) |
| Riot Platforms (RIOT) | $17.32 | $17.19 (-0.75%) |
| Core Scientific (CORZ) | $19.29 | $18.68 (-3.16%) |
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2025-11-11 17:52