JPYKRW

On a Wednesday of dubious sanctity-August the Thirteenth-this carnival of numbers added yet another zero, inflating by ten percent in a week.
Reason? Ah, the Fed might cut rates (94% odds on Polymarket, 87% on the CME, 100% in every moonboi’s dreams).
Inflation cooled to 2.7%, like a lukewarm confession heard after midnight mass.
U.S. tariffs on our celestial Middle Kingdom delayed ninety days; investors exhaled in unison, their sigh scented with hopium and Panda Express. 🐼

Meanwhile, Bitcoin flirted with $120K again-just a casual 3% shy of its July records. Looks like consolidation, or maybe Bitcoin just trying to look modest before skyrocketing again. And hey, that’s good news for Bitcoin Hyper ($HYPER), because why not ride the wave to the moon?

Whales-those massive fish that make the ocean look like a kiddie pool-snapped up a staggering $161K worth of Bitcoin Hyper ($HYPER) and a cool $105K of TOKEN6900 ($T6900) in a single day. Truly, a display of liquidity akin to a bank heist in broad daylight.

Morgan, with a wink and a nod, reminds us that Ripple’s CEO, Brad Garlinghouse, has painted escrow as a beacon of stability, a shield against the tempest of market chaos. “Predictability, not price drops!” he proclaims, as if holding a torch in the darkness of financial uncertainty. 🛡️

Apparently, institutional investors and Ethereum ETFs are the heroes of this story. You know, the kind of heroes who don’t wear capes but do wear suits and probably have spreadsheets as their superpower. This rally started earlier this month, and guess what? It’s making everyone else look around like, “Should I be doing something too?” 🦸‍♂️💼

Now, here’s where things get fun – imagine a gap in the rocket’s path from $119,000 to a more modest $117,000. It’s like a pothole that the market might just decide to fill with a quick little dip before soaring higher. Technically, this dip could coincide with a retest of the top trendline of the bull flag, which sounds fancy but is really just a fancy chart line that traders pretend is an important landmark. Filling gaps isn’t always guaranteed, but it’s statistically more likely than your chances of figuring out why your houseplants keep dying. So, stay tuned to see whether the market takes a little holiday to visit the gap or simply shouts, “We’re off to the races!” 🏁

According to a recent blog post from Rumble, the video-sharing platform that has somehow managed to host President Donald Trump’s Truth social (a feat that deserves a medal of some sort), they are in the process of acquiring the AI firm Northern Data from Tether. But wait, there’s more! Tether, in a move that can only be described as a classic case of “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours,” will then become a customer of Rumble, promising to purchase a veritable mountain of graphics processing units (GPUs) over the coming years. One can only hope they have a good storage solution for all those shiny new toys!

The price swings could make a roller coaster blush-soaring from a modest $45 to a daring $135-proof that in the world of digital money, patience is just a fancy word for “waiting to panic sell.” The company-err, platform, OKX-confirmed it would torch (burn) a hefty 65,256,712.097 OKB from its treasure trove of past buys and reserve holdings. And voilà, the supply is now as scarce as a vegan at a Texas BBQ.

Imaginez la scène! Si Bitcoin monte de 119 250 à 150 000, alors le doux Ether, cet encombrant mais charmant petit frère, flirtant avec 35% du marché de son aîné, pourrait atteindre près de 8 656 dollars. Ah! La magie des pourcentages et des calculs subtils! 🧙‍♂️

As of the latest gossip, the Ethena (ENA) token is trading at $0.7911, a modest rise of 0.6% in the past 24 hours. It has galloped up 36% over the past week and a whopping 141% in the last 30 days. Talk about a glow-up! 🌟