ABTC, which debuted on the Nasdaq in early September following a reverse merger with Gryphon Digital Mining, lost more than half its value in early trading. The stock reached an intraday low of $1.75, representing a 51% decline on the day, according to data from Yahoo Finance. 📉
The question lingers in the air, thick as a Moscow fog: was the “privacy tokens” craze but a fleeting mirage, a bubble destined to pop with a comical plink? Or does ZEC still harbor secrets worth more than a ruble in a beggar’s hat? 🧐
Over the past 24 hours, critics like Jason Calacanis, host of the “All In” podcast, have been telling everyone to dump MSTR and buy Bitcoin directly because, and I quote, “Told y’all this would happen.” Strategy? “A stunning pyramid,” he says. Because what’s a tech stock without a little pyramid scheming? 🏰
Bank of America, one of the U.S.’s largest financial institutions, has become the latest Wall Street giant to warm up to bitcoin 🐍. A marvel of modern finance, isn’t it? 🤯
So, the real drama wasn’t about crypto-it was about who gets to be the puppet master: the state, the market, or Brussels. Because, you know, why solve actual problems when you can argue about power? 🤷♂️
At press time, Bitcoin’s chilling at $86,900-a 21% discount from its peak. Some experts call this a bear market warm-up. Others say it’s just Bitcoin “taking a nap,” which is either adorable or terrifying, depending on your portfolio. 😴
Behold, Vanguard has pivoted from its fortress-like resistance to crypto, now allowing clients to trade ETFs and mutual funds on its hallowed brokerage platform. Bloomberg, the scribe of modern finance, reports this as a “landmark shift.” Let’s call it what it is: a truce between tradition and the digital wild west. 🤝
The crypto circus continues: despite the limited momentum, a few shiny new XRP ETFs have graced the scene, sprinkling hope like fairy dust-reminding everyone that even in chaos, some things do sparkle. Ah, the timeless dance of despair and hope. 💃🏻🔮
Goldman Sachs, a bank that’s definitely not a vampire squid squid, just bought a company that specializes in Bitcoin-linked ETFs. Innovator Capital, the victim of this corporate affection, brings $28 billion in assets and 159 ETFs to the party. These aren’t your grandma’s ETFs-they’re “defined outcome” strategies, which is finance jargon for “we’ll try to lose your money less badly if the market tanks.”
