Coinglass’ 30-day liquidation map reveals bears are the undisputed kings of this jungle, hoarding $228 million in short positions that’ll make bulls question existence itself. Meanwhile, the puny $60 million in longs has enough oomph to power a tea kettle-not a crypto comeback. BNB’s 20% monthly loss? A 📉 gift to everyone’s patience.
Given the coveted blessing to the handyman KuCoin EU Exchange GmbH, they are hailed to offer techno-secrets to the dear folk across 29 European countries under the mighty MiCA flag. Aye, passporting mechanism, the be-all and end-all of this garden party! 🌍🎪
The Financial Services Agency (FSA), that stalwart guardian of fiscal order, first whispered of this revolution in the chill of mid-November. Now, the ruling coalition, those masters of compromise and delay, have finally bestowed their blessing. A bill, they promise, shall grace the Diet in the nascent days of 2026, a beacon of hope for the crypto faithful. 📜
While this rally has been the talk of Wall Street and the like, it has left crypto markets in a rather precarious position, thanks to Beijing’s increasingly iron-fisted regulatory stance. Oh, what fun! 🧐
These sharp-minded folks rolled up their sleeves and scribed a self-certification declaration for that grand office of oversight, the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC), under the law that’s known far and wide as regulation 40.6(a). This law gives DCMs the license-mind you, the good kind of license-to hawk spot products, assuming they pay their respects to some special requirements.
Oh, look. Peter Schiff is feeling very validated right now.Bitcoin decided to take a little nap below $85K, and he’s all over Twitter – sorry, X – explaining how he totally saw this coming. It’s like watching your aunt predict rain. ☔
The decision represents a “shift” in Vanguard’s approach, which, until now, had maintained a rather staunch position against cryptocurrency. So staunch, in fact, it could have been mistaken for a brick wall. 🧱
The inimitable Vincent Van Code (yes, the name alone is a masterpiece) reports that XRP has fled the exchanges like a socialite avoiding a scandal. Binance, Upbit, and Kraken are left clutching their pearls as ETF custodial wallets swoop in. Liquidity? She’s left the building, darling. 🏃♀️💨
The cryptomixer.io domain, a digital fortress, now lies in ruins. A symbolic victory for transparency, though one wonders if this is merely a skirmish in an endless war against the shadows. 🧨
Will it stabilize? Or is the path to $8 now as inevitable as taxes and existential dread? Let’s ask the soothsayers of finance.
