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Under this feverish moon, whispers coil about the possibility of a Solana ETF, a financial beast as real as the bureaucrat’s signature on doomed forms. The SEC, that eternal gatekeeper, waves its rubber stamp and shouts from the mountain: “Revise! Resubmit! By July’s end, or face the void!” Analysts croak approval, sipping black coffee in cluttered Bloomberg cubicles. James Seyffart, who knows the taste of hope mixed with regulatory dust, calls this ritual “a positive signal.” Somewhere, the gods of finance chuckle.

Most sages of Wall Street, stoic as stone icons, expect no Fed mercy this month. Yet just as the midwife spies the first sign of birth, inflation appears to have tumbled—nay, plummeted!—from a dignified 2.27% to a rather bashful 1.70% in less than two weeks, all according to Truflation. Conveniently timed before the great CPI revelation of July 15. Should officials bow and confirm these numbers, oh, what a commotion! Market jesters may rip up their old parchments, dust off new predictions, and—why not?—shout for a surprise rate cut.

Ethereum mega whales have increased their holdings by 9.31%, a stronger buildup than before the 2022 rally.

In a shocking twist, Solana News revealed that Pump.fun has hit a new all-time low with just a 36% market share, while LetsBonk.fun’s market share has surged to 54%. Jup data also confirms this development. At press time, LetsBonk boasts a market share of 48.90%, with a 24-hour trading volume of $539 million. On the other hand, Pump boasts a market share of 39.80%, with a 24-hour trading volume of $438 million. 🤯

According to OnchainLens, this whale fellow sold his FARTCOIN stash for 10,509 SOL, which is a cryptocurrency that’s almost as confusing as a plate of spaghetti 🍝. The average selling price was $1.07, which is a bit like the price of a decent cup of coffee – not too shabby, if you ask me.

Analysts say that the steady stream of money into these investment vehicles is helping to drive Bitcoin prices higher, like a mighty river carving its way through the rocky terrain of the crypto market. 🌊

Yes, Garlinghouse, his schedule presumably lighter after years of droll litigation, confirmed (not with a trembling telegraph key, but—how modern!—on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter, née a bucket of vowels) that he will appear this Wednesday before the esteemed custodians of America’s economic fate. He gallops into the Senate limelight just as the House prepares to unleash ‘Crypto Week’—which, contrary to rumors, is not a discount buffet for blockchain enthusiasts, but something weightier for those who enjoy heavy pocket squares and heavier metaphors.

But what of the timing, you ask? Ah, dear reader, it is no coincidence that this announcement comes on the heels of a $14B unrealized revenue windfall, courtesy of Bitcoin’s Fair Value Appreciation in Q2 2025. The gods of fortune are smiling upon Strategy, it seems 🙏.

The development arrives alongside a dramatic sixfold surge in Toncoin fees, up 696% this week according to Nansen. This has raised both eyebrows and trading volumes, hitting a total value locked (TVL) of $140 million, according to DefiLlama data. It seems the market is either genuinely excited or just riding the hype train. 🚂

Now, you might be wondering, “What does this mean for the price of SHIB?” Well, my friends, that’s the million-dollar question. While it’s true that reducing the circulating supply of a digital asset or increasing its scarcity should theoretically lead to a price gain, the current aggressive burn has yet to translate into such for SHIB.