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In a tête-à-tête with CoinDesk, Horsley confided that in traditional finance, “the death of an ETF is apathy”-a most dull and pedestrian demise. XRP, however, seemed to him more alive than a carnival at midnight. Its devotees, waving their digital banners and chanting in code, would surely ensure an ETF’s lively debut.

Behold the mighty triggers of this undulating ride: whispers of peace in the Oval Office (the government’s financial mogul finally donning pantaloons!) and a scribe’s publication by the illustrious Donald J. Trump himself. 🕊️📜

The actions of Circle, it seems, suggest a growing fondness for Solana. Their deployment of USDC upon the network is not merely a matter of chance, but appears a calculated maneuver, reinforcing its influence upon Solana’s quarterly influx of stablecoins. One wonders if they foresee in Solana a solar flare, or merely a passing novelty. 🤔

Bitcoin price managed to stay above the $101,000 support level and started a recovery wave. (It’s like the cryptocurrency version of “I’ll be back.”) BTC recovered above the $102,500 and $103,500 resistance levels. (Resistance? More like “I’m not going anywhere, buddy.”)

Bitcoin, that most unpredictable of commodities, ascended 4.2% to $106,269-fortunes made and lost on the whim of politicians! Ethereum, not to be outdone, leaped 7.4% to $3,643, reclaiming some ground after a rather frightful tumble. Liquidity, it seems, has returned, like a long-lost cousin after a rather embarrassing family scandal.

Looks like correction territory is our new address, with a 22% drop from its “I can’t believe this isn’t April Fools’!” peak earlier this month. 🤯

Legislation to fund the government has enough support to pass the 60-vote threshold. Yikes, that’s like a Netflix original series-unpredictable but somehow always on. 📺

Analyst James Easton, ever the dramatist, has painted a picture of a symmetrical triangle since 2020-an elegant ballet of support lines and resistance trends. The current trading marvel hovers around $15.44, a veritable middle ground after rebounding spiritedly from the $12-$13 support zone.

Open interest is sitting pretty at $866M, as flat as a pancake. Traders are hedging their bets like they’re at a Vegas buffet-cautious, but still hungry. 🥞💼