What once was a tempest of wild speculation now resembles a stifled sigh, with Bitcoin languishing near its celestial heights while embracing an almost embarrassing stability—an awkward transition from the caprices of youth to the steady grip of matronly respectability.
Panic, drama, and enough speculation to drown an accountant! What wizardry or devilment could this mean for our beloved market? Is it the Second Coming of Satoshi, or merely an old babushka cashing out before her bridge club?
Kiyosaki, that great Cassandra of the crypto world, has long prophesied that Bitcoin shall reach the dizzying heights of $1 million per coin in the 2030s. And, like a modern-day Jeremiah, he rails against the folly of those who would entrust their life savings to the tender mercies of the US dollar.
An enterprising speculator—a hungry soul who, perhaps, might have spent his energies better in a potato field—established a market upon this very question. Victory would be determined, not by gun or ballot, but by the cold, unfeeling evidence of photo or video: Was Zelenskyy in a suit, yes or no, from May 22 to June 30? By some fevered miracle of modern civilization, humanity wagered close to $79 million upon this pressing mystery. Initially, the verdict came: Yes, Zelenskyy wore The Suit. Cue celebratory vodka shots. But, as any Russian will tell you, consensus is but a shadow: the outcome was soon contested, and the squabbling persists in endless, bureaucratic splendor. 🍸🪖
But fear not, dear investor, for this event is a mere trifle compared to last week’s end-of-month shenanigans. It’s unlikely to cause a ripple in the spot markets, unless, of course, the economic data from the US decides to throw a tantrum 🤯.
This “channel” is less of a mathematical construct and more a cosmic joke. Will Bitcoin escape? Will you win the lottery? Will a whale fall out of the sky onto your portfolio? The answer is: possibly. 🐳💥
Riot Platforms produced 450 Bitcoin (BTC) in the month, a 12% decline from May, when the firm mined 514 BTC, it stated in an announcement on Thursday. 😱
Currently, XRP is sitting pretty at $2.29. But hold your horses — it’s still 67.68% below its all-time high of $3.84. But here’s the kicker: experts are starting to whisper that things could change very, very quickly. ⏳
This technical bounce coincides with a 15.78% surge in Open Interest to $2.09 billion and an explosive 402% increase in Options volume—signaling that traders are aggressively positioning for further upside. The move suggests growing speculative interest, likely targeting the $0.19 mid-range resistance, with potential continuation toward $0.26 if momentum holds. 📈
As the powers that be at Coinbase Assets have decreed, Wormhole shall be added to their suite of digital asset products. One can almost hear the trumpets blaring in celebration 🎺. For what is Wormhole, you ask? It is a project of interoperability, a bridge between the isolated islands of blockchain, allowing them to communicate with one another in a manner befitting the digital age.
