Schwartz, in his infinite cryptographic wisdom, believes that CBDCs are neither the villain nor the hero of the story. No, my dear reader, their true impact lies in whether they serve to expand freedom or, in the worst-case scenario, usher in an era of dystopian regulation. The horror! 😱
It’s pumping up its trading volume and dressing up with some technical gets, all while holding onto the hope that this week, it can climb over the intimidating $0.215 resistance. The question is: will the bulls push it past that, or will DOGE just sit there, waving and pretending it’s a tiger, when really it’s just a fluffy kitten in Wolf of Wall Street pajamas? 🐯🐱
Ethereum (ETH) is also having a bad hair day, down almost 4% at $4,080. Ripple (XRP) and Solana (SOL) are down too, with SOL slipping below $200 like it’s trying to avoid a party it wasn’t invited to. Dogecoin (DOGE) and Cardano (ADA) are also in the dumps, because why should they have fun? Meanwhile, Hedera (HBAR) is the life of the party, up 14% at $0.206. Go, Hedera, go! 🎉
The once-booming sector has seen a significant slowdown. The launch of new tokens has nearly ground to a halt, and investors seem to be losing their appetite faster than a starving man in a buffet line. Is it the end of meme coins? Some say it’s just a “generational bottom,” while others are preparing to shovel dirt over the whole thing.
Behold, the mighty Visa, that titan of the financial realm, now stretches its tentacles to embrace four new stablecoins! 🦠 A fourfold increase in crypto card spending? How thrilling! The people rejoice, or at least their wallets do. 🎉
What sorcery is this? you ask. 🧙♂️ Let us unravel the tapestry of this farce!
There is no bridge currency. There are stablecoins, on Solana.
I love you.
– Solana (@solana) October 28, 2025
Meanwhile, Western Union just dropped a June 2026 teaser: launching a Solana stablecoin next year. Because who needs bridges when you’ve got zero confirmations and elation? 🎉
Western Union’s CEO, Devin McGranahan, revealed the firm “looked at alternatives” before choosing Solana. Translation: “Ripple was the mustache on the baby of 2015, but now it’s time for a solid smoothie.” 🍓
Ripple and Western Union’s 2015 pilot? A tale as old as blockchain. They tried, they loved, but the story ended like a deflated balloon-poof. In 2025, Western Union even teased xRapid. But hey, no one cares now. 💀
Devin’s predecessor, Hikmet Ersek, once whined that Ripple’s tech was “too expensive.” Let me guess: they wanted XRP as a bridge, but all they got was a financial landslide? 🏄♂️เอาไว้ต่อมากลับลบมันทันที
Ethereum, that steadfast companion, hath slipped 3%, now trading at $3,946-though one might wonder if it’s merely playing coy. 🤭
So, Solana thought it was going to break the internet after it settled above $192, beating Bitcoin and Ethereum like they were last season’s trends. The price soared past $198, and everything seemed peachy.
Solana enjoyed the gods’ favor with US$29.4 million, whilst XRP basked in a princely US$84.3 million. Yet, alas, the flow of funds has displayed an lamentable slowdown in anticipation of the much-discussed U.S. ETF launches. Such anticipations!
