The company, with a straight face, insists the breach was not a flaw in their architecture but rather the work of external malcontents. Phishing, they say, and third-party lapses-not their doing, oh no. 🦹♂️
Now, amid the chaos, some folks are whispering about a potential recovery. Because obviously Ethereum’s about to bounce back-because what’s a 40% drop if not a “correction”? 🤷♂️
Governor Kelly Ayotte is out here saying they’re “first in the nation” to embrace “new technologies.” Kudos to her for being trailblazing… or maybe just really good at playing the crypto lottery. 🎰 She claims it’s “innovative” and “no risk to taxpayers,” which sounds less like finance and more like a Vegas commercial. 🏖️
ARB prices and activity may yet pirouette into a frenzy, particularly in the RWA category, where the chain seems to have hidden its most tantalizing secrets.
SOL fluttered from $129 to $139.41, like a moth briefly enamored with a streetlamp. The RSI, that killjoy of indicators, still whispers of bearish doom, but who listens to prophets at a carnival? 🤡
The whole shebang of the crypto market cap took a nosedive too, plungin’ 3.5% to a measly $3.07 trillion-that’s a far cry from its glory days in 2021. With all the bearish hootin’ and hollerin’, over $651 million got liquidated from them leveraged traders, and $491 million of that was from the long traders who thought they’d struck gold. 🤑
Bitcoin’s Supertrend indicator has gone all “sell” on us, and history says that’s a recipe for a 77% nosedive. 🌋💥
Thanks to a stroke of institutional genius, including some fancy names like Jane Street and DRW Venture Capital, Kraken’s wallet now looks a little less emaciated. Even Arjun Sethi’s family office pitched in because apparently, family wealth is the new venture capital. Who knew?
The minutes, which are about as exciting as watching paint dry but with higher stakes, reflect economic data from a time when we were all still pretending 2025 wasn’t going to be a dumpster fire. The language inside has analysts clutching their pearls and dissecting every “many” and “several” like it’s a Shakespearean sonnet. 📜
While XRP faced a near 5% tumble to $2.10 in the early hours, it managed to stabilize around $2.18. Since November 10, it’s been caught in a seven-day selling spree, as if it’s auditioning for the lead role in the “Crypto Crash” sequel. The previous high of $2.58 feels like a distant memory, almost as distant as your motivation to work out today.
