According to CoinGlass, $4.1 billion vanished in 24 hours. That’s faster than I can finish a bowl of soup. 🍲 Meanwhile, Bitcoin took a nosedive from $111,797 to $102,000, Ether slipped to $3,500, and Solana? Well, let’s just say it’s swimming in the shallow end now. 🌊 Traders were selling like their lives depended on it. Spoiler: It probably did.
New York City, in a fit of municipal bravado, has launched the U.S.’ first-ever office devoted to digital assets and blockchain. One can only marvel at the audacity of Mayor Eric Adams, who signed the executive order on October 14, as if inscribing his name upon the tablets of modernity. The NYC Office of Digital Assets and Blockchain is born, a phoenix of bureaucracy rising from the ashes of fiscal prudence.
In a soliloquy on the balance sheet-that sacred tome of central banking-Powell, with a voice as smooth as a well-aged brandy, admitted to the “downside risks to unemployment.” A dovish coo, indeed, hinting that the monetary reins are about to loosen. 🕊️ “We judged it appropriate,” he intoned, “to take another step toward a more neutral policy stance at our September meeting.” Neutral? Ha! The markets hear only the siren song of easing. 🧜♂️
Back in the halcyon days of 2017, when Bitcoin was still a sparkly trinket for tech bros and libertarians, Dimon vowed to cashier any employee foolish enough to trade it. By 2021, he’d upgraded his critique from “tulip bulb” to “worthless,” a term he presumably whispered into a stormy Manhattan night. Last year, he crowned his oeuvre by labeling the asset a “Ponzi scheme”-a word so deliciously dramatic it practically demands a monocle. Each pronouncement was a masterclass in financial theater, delivered with the subtlety of a sledgehammer to a tea party. 💸
In a tweet that probably didn’t go viral because crypto enthusiasts are too busy crying, Glassnode broke down how this Bitcoin selloff is playing by its own rules. They whipped out the Percent Supply in Profit metric, which sounds fancy but basically tells you how many Bitcoin holders are still grinning ear to ear.📈
The great asset switcheroo is on, folks! Silver’s having a midlife crisis and hitting 45-year highs, while crypto’s stuck in a TikTok dance-off it can’t win. Is “digital gold” just a fancy name for digital lead now? 🤷♀️
Oh, and did I mention the market cap is a whopping $109.00 billion with a 24-hour trading volume of $13.72 billion? That’s right, we’re talking about some serious coin here. 💰
Growing institutional interest in crypto derivatives, particularly XRP, is prompting traditional exchanges to expand their digital asset offerings. CME Group, a leading global derivatives marketplace, announced on Oct. 13 that U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC)-regulated options on XRP and solana ( SOL) are now live and available for trading on its platform. 🤯
Ah, Solmate Infrastructure (Nasdaq: SLMT), the darling of Abu Dhabi, struck this deal amidst what it so dramatically dubbed “the worst liquidation event in crypto history.” 🤑 And how did they manage? By snatching those Solana (SOL) tokens at a 15% discount! A bargain, you say? Or merely a desperate grasp at digital straws? 🤔
Weltgrößter Vermögensverwalter, BlackRock, schnappt sich die Finanzwelt und macht sie digital. Ja, du hast richtig gehört! CEO Larry Fink hat angekündigt, dass sie eine Technologie entwickeln, die das „Tokenisieren“ von Vermögenswerten wie Immobilien und Fonds ermöglicht. Das bedeutet: Dein Portfolio wird digital – auf einer Blockchain! Oh, und dabei werden auch die Gebühren kleiner. Fast wie ein Rabatt auf deine Investitionen. 🎉
