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American Bitcoin Corp., the publicly listed venture co-founded by the Trump brothers (yes, they’re still at it), has deployed around 11,298 shiny new ASIC miners. This pushes their total hash rate to 28.1 exahashes per second-a number so big, it’s practically absurd. In a press release that smelled faintly of cologne and ambition, they claimed the new machines would “add ~3.05 EH/s at ~13.5 J/TH,” bringing their fleet to ~28.1 EH/s with an average efficiency of ~16.0 J/TH across 89,242 miners. Because nothing says ‘Murica like overachieving in Bitcoin mining.

So, gather round, dear readers! Prediction market platform Kalshi has joined forces with the illustrious Pyth Network to enable non-stop, around-the-clock settlement of contracts linked to the global commodities markets. Yes, you heard it right-no more waiting for the clock to strike nine or worrying about weekends ruining your trading fun!

So, Bitcoin Teddy whipped out his monthly chart (no, not that kind of monthly chart) and started drawing boxes and circles like he’s Picasso on a caffeine bender. According to him, Bitcoin’s price moves in these big, dramatic cycles, and we’re apparently in the “buy now or forever hold your peace” phase. The chart has these green boxes (because green means money, duh) and blue circles that scream, “Buy here, dummy!”

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Now, picture this: investors are straddling the fence like a circus performer, one eye on the golden horizon of new highs, the other squinting at the abyss of a sudden plunge. This week, the market flirted with $77,000, but some jittery souls decided to grab their profits and run, like a cat scared by its own tail. Then, along comes Morgan Stanley, tossing $138 million into the Bitcoin ring, and suddenly the price leaps past $80,000. Who knew the big boys still had a sense of adventure?

Pyth Network is extending its oracle footprint into the heart of regulated prediction markets, becoming the settlement data provider for Kalshi’s newly launched commodities hub.

A senior blockchain security researcher at Certik reportedly said that North Korea’s Lazarus Group is running a new macOS-focused campaign called the “Mach-O Man.”

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