So, there we have it. Two investment banks, both throwing darts at the same fintech company, Figure (FIGR), which is currently trying to expand its blockchain-based lending empire. It’s a bit like watching two old duffers trying to figure out which way the wind is blowing at the local cricket match.
As the good ol’ US dollar takes a nosedive, liquidity is flowin’ like a college kid at a frat party-straight into crypto. So, buckle up, buttercup! Here’s the lowdown on some crypto stocks that might not suck this week.
Bitcoin’s price hit a weekly high of $123,400, because why not? 🚀
Behold, Ondo Finance proclaims the conquest complete, seizing the fintech fortress of Oasis Pro. This grants the RWA sorcerers dominion over arcane American entities: a broker-dealer that juggles securities like a fool with fire, an Alternative Trading System (ATS) for shadowy secondary spells, and a transfer agent guarding ownership scrolls. Sarcasm drips like mercury-regulations at last! 😂
BeInCrypto, ever the harbinger of financial prophecy, has cast its gaze upon three altcoins teetering on the edge of glory. Will they reach their zenith, or shall they crumble like yesterday’s bread? Let us delve into this tragicomedy of numbers and greed.
Of course, just to make matters a bit juicier, Mike Novogratz’s Galaxy Digital decided to launch its own trading app. No big deal, right? Except that it came *right* after Robinhood’s app took a nap. Oh, sweet irony.
Bitmine, that brazen band of Las Vegas illuminati, fiddling with crypto and the Ethereum labyrinth, has unveiled its swollen treasury of $13.4 billion as of Oct. 5. Included therein: 2.83 million ETH, a paltry 192 bitcoin, and $456 million in cash so loose it might slip away like a fleeing miser. And don’t forget their $113 million whim on Eightco Holdings, dubbed “moonshots” with a wink that’s pure mockery. Oh, the hypocrisy! 🚀
And just when you thought the stock market was floundering like a fish out of water, $BTC breaks through to new heights, as traditional markets reel. Oh, what a deliciously perfect cocktail of institutional validation and mainstream chaos! It’s practically a recipe for the next altcoin eruption.
The Bitcoin Spot ETFs, those historic harbingers of financial alchemy, have awoken from their slumber like a bear after a long winter. Darkfost, that enigmatic oracle of CryptoQuant, proclaims their resurgence with the fervor of a street prophet. His research, as intricate as a Bulgakov novel, reveals that these ETFs are siphoning attention from the spot market like a vampire at a blood bank. 🧛♂️📈
There stood the plan-formalize the digital asset market to probe how these strange assets might slip into the country’s financial loom without breaking its old bones. A test, a mercy, a calculation in which finance ministers and clerks would observe the coin’s step by step; and in that quiet Sunday gathering, Deputy Minister Nguyen Duc Chi spoke as one might speak to a reluctant horse: patient, hopeful, and perhaps a touch weary. 🧭💸
