JPYKRW

On October 1, in a post titled “Privacy Cluster Leadership Announcement,” EF decided to “organize for scale and impact.” Let’s meet the stars of the show: Igor Barinov, the new coordinator, and Andy Guzman, who’s stepping up for the PSE (Privacy & Scaling Explorations) team, waving goodbye to Sam Richards. Igor and Andy are supposedly going to make Ethereum’s privacy stuff turn heads, be on point, and-wait for it-accountable. (As if the crypto world isn’t buzzing with accountability as much as a one-person dinner party).

The crypto community, that fragile ecosystem of dreamers and schemers, now tumbles deeper into existential dread. Will the SEC, that enigmatic arbiter of financial fate, emerge from its fiscal hibernation? Or will the shutdown’s shadow swallow all timelines, rendering the 19b-4 deadlines as relevant as a dodo’s tax return? James Seyffart and Eleanor Terrett, our modern-day Icaruses, note the SEC’s request for withdrawals, leaving the S-1 registration as the lone parchment in the regulatory wind-a flimsy raft in a sea of red tape.

Thailand, that bastion of financial innovation, is widening its crypto ETF market. Because obviously, Bitcoin alone wasn’t enough to make investors swoon. Yawn.

Apparently, stablecoins are the new caipirinha – everyone’s sipping on them. Over 90% of transactions? Stablecoins. Payments, remittances, you name it – Brazilians are using crypto like it’s their day job. Or maybe it *is* their day job. Who knows? 🤷‍♀️

The tide has turned firmly in favor of crypto ETFs. After weeks of turbulence, both 🐉 and 🐲 funds are now riding a powerful wave of inflows, with Wednesday, Oct. 1, delivering one of the strongest days yet. 🧙♂️

Among the chosen, Feedzai, the AI sorcerer of fraud detection, and Giesecke+Devrient, the guardians of security, stand tall. “A digital euro, a beacon of modernity,” quipped Dr. Ralf Wintergerst, his words as polished as the coins they hope to mint. “We’ll build a platform so secure, even the most elusive cybercriminals will weep.” 😂

For those of you not completely versed in the intricacies of blockchain, let it be known that DoubleZero’s decentralized physical infrastructure network (DePIN)-a true marvel of modernity-now boasts over 70 lightning-fast connections between 25 glorious locations. These connections serve to transport blockchain traffic directly, eliminating the pains of latency and, one hopes, the agony of waiting. 🚀

The victims, alas, are mostly Chinese, and the crimes, some as ancient as a decade past, have left them bereft. Yet, like moths to a flame, they flutter toward the British legal system, seeking reimbursement. Britain, ever the bureaucrat, must untangle this Gordian knot before it can dream of crypto reserves or other such follies. 🧵

You’re reading Crypto for Advisors, where we dissect digital assets while channeling our inner financial detective. Wanna subscribe and be part of the drama? It lands every Thursday. Don’t leave me hanging.

“Tokenized assets,” Tenev proclaimed, “may become the default for international investors!” As if the world weren’t already drowning in acronyms and spreadsheets. He dreams of a future where U.S. stocks are traded like cryptocurrency confetti, while traditional finance clutches its ledgers in existential dread. One can almost hear the sound of gears grinding in the financial universe 🌀.