A frankly hilarious plan to slap the Trump brand onto blockchain tokens is now underway-because, sure, why not? Zach Witkoff, co-founder of World Liberty Financial (because “liberty” sounds better than “questionable financial decisions”), pitched this masterpiece at Token2049 in Singapore. His grand vision? Letting you, yes you, own a microscopic fraction of Trump Tower Dubai. 🏙️💰
Tax policy, that ever-shifting sand dune of financial fate, hath once again rearranged the stars for corporations awash in cryptocurrency riches. Strategy Inc. (Nasdaq: MSTR), with a flourish of its quill, announced on the first of October that the U.S. Treasury and the IRS-those guardians of the fiscal gates-have decreed that unrealized digital asset gains and losses shall be cast aside when calculating the adjusted financial statement income (AFSI) for the corporate alternative minimum tax (CAMT). A boon, indeed, for those whose vaults overflow with Bitcoin! 🏦✨
The research, released just this Wednesday, paints a picture that’s as bleak for traders as it is sparkling for infrastructure providers. It’s like a casino where the house always wins. Traders, the poor souls, mostly lose their shirts in this short-term, high-risk gambling market, while the real winners – the launchpads, decentralized exchanges, and trading bots – are swimming in profits. But hey, someone’s gotta do the hard work, right?
And lo, this frenzied ascent followed a decree from the decentralized altar of Thorswap, promising swaps between ZEC and the golden Bitcoin. How quaint, in an age where privacy is besieged like a besieged fortress! Yet analysts, ever the skeptics, whisper that the true marionette’s string was tugged by Grayscale’s Zcash Trust, a veh rust offered to the elite accredited, so they might partake in securities without the tedium of hoarding the beast itself. 🫣
With a net worth of $150 million-enough to outspend his mother on Parisian couture-he’s achieved what many men twice his age can only dream of: financial triumph and a slight smirk at Melania’s expense. One suspects her designer handbags now whisper his name.
So, Paxos Labs, the people behind the issuance of USAD, will also be managing the reserves for this groundbreaking stablecoin. According to a press release on October 1 (because nothing says “trustworthy” like a press release), USAD will be the very first stablecoin to launch on a layer-1 blockchain with full encryption and privacy. Take that, traditional blockchains! 🧑💻
Unfortunately, it’s like giving your grandma a smartphone and expecting her to run a startup. These judges, while competent in their own right, aren’t exactly Web3 experts. So, it’s no surprise that scammers have been able to convince them to ease off, despite the massive crime wave in the digital space. 🙄
Copper Research says usage of the Canton Network, a blockchain built for regulated finance, has quietly surged, with validator activity now including major U.S. exchanges alongside banks and infrastructure firms. *Quietly? Oh, how the mighty roar.*
💼 But wait, there’s more! Bullish didn’t just waltz in with a smile and a handshake. Oh no, they brought the big guns: a BitLicense and a Money Transmission License from the NYDFS. That’s like showing up to a potluck with a five-course meal. 🍴 Now they’re rubbing elbows with the elite, the crème de la crème of exchanges approved to operate in New York. Talk about a VIP pass!
Circle (CRCL), the USDC stablecoin overlords, has declared war on Solana, flooding its low-cost, lightning-fast blockchain with their tokenized Treasury fund. A bold move, or a desperate gamble? Only time will tell-but at least the cows are happy. 🐄⚡
