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Deutsche Börse, the German securities marketplace, has decided to team up with Circle, the USDC stablecoin issuer, because apparently, they’ve run out of ideas for how to make money in traditional finance. 🤷♂️ The collaboration involves stuffing Circle’s “regulated” stablecoins into Deutsche Börse’s financial market infrastructure, which is about as thrilling as watching a teapot learn to knit. The joint announcement claims this is a “milestone” for regulated stablecoins in Europe. Let’s just say it’s less of a milestone and more of a “we’re trying to stay relevant before crypto eats our lunch” moment.

October, historically the rockstar month for Bitcoin, has an average return of 21.89%. So naturally, it’s the perfect time for the Bitcoin Hyper Layer-2 (L2) to make its grand entrance. It’s like showing up at a party just as everyone’s starting to dance, right? If demand hits its sweet spot, this could be the magical fix Bitcoin’s been waiting for.

In the grand theater of memes, our star PEPE has done the unthinkable: it fell 2.6% in the last 24 hours and is now flirting with $0.0000915. Meanwhile, the CoinDesk 20 index decided to join the pity party, down 1.4% – talk about a real knee-slapper!

Turns out $115,000 is the financial equivalent of a clearance sale that’s just *too* good to pass up. Bitcoin tried to hold the line but ended up getting dragged back like a cat from a bath, slipping 3% in a single day. Traders are basically cashing out like they’ve just found out crypto gains don’t pay for lattes (yet). Meanwhile, over $420 million worth of Bitcoin got dumped into exchanges in 24 hours-which is a lot. Spot trading volumes have also dropped 18%, so liquidity’s dryer than your group chat after “good night.” All that selling and cooling demand have sent BTC into a bit of a sulk, and poor momentum is feeling the burn.

The CoinDesk 20 is currently sulking at 3988.9, down 1.1% (-46.29) since 4 p.m. ET on Monday. Yes, it’s basically the financial equivalent of “I’ll just have one more glass of wine” and waking up with a hangover. 🥂😵‍💫

Currently, Ethereum is having a little love affair at the price of $4,191, slowly getting over last week’s dramatic breakup with $3,800. There’s some romantic tension forming in the 4-hour chart-a contracting triangle that’s just begging for a breakout. Immediate resistance is stacked higher than your laundry pile between $4,230 and $4,275, where those fancy 100-day and 200-day EMAs are throwing a party. If it breaks above this zone, we might just witness Ethereum’s long-awaited comeback since the mid-September heartbreak. 💔➡️💖

At the R3al World AI Summit (yes, they really stylize “Real” with a 3, because nothing says cutting-edge like numbers in words) during Singapore’s Token2049 conference, IoTeX rolled out this project like it was the new iPhone, partnering with big names like Vodafone, Filecoin, Theta Network, and a few others that sound like either sci-fi planets or your next Wi-Fi network.

The initiative, called Mission Control, is part of a broader effort to “democratize” space access by opening up astronaut selection to global users via onchain voting on the TON blockchain, according to a Tuesday announcement shared with CryptoMoon. Let’s be honest: it’s just a fancy way of saying “we’ll sell NFTs and call it a social experiment.” 🤖

Our heroes, Crypto Majors BTC and ETH, took their modest bows on Tuesday Stage as the market, fatigued but hopeful, began to steady after Monday’s theatrical recovery.

The REX-Osprey XRP ETF (ticker XRPR) pirouetted into existence mid-September, a firstborn in the SEC’s frosty cradle. Yet, the commission’s desk groans with pending petitions, their fates dangling like icicles on a thawing roof. October 18 looms-a date etched in Grayscale’s ledger-as 21Shares, Bitwise, and others await the SEC’s nod or a bureaucratic slap. Eleanor Terrett, erstwhile Fox scribe, whispers of 19b-4 filings being yanked, a move some optimists claim will “accelerate the future.” Bloomberg’s Balchunas, ever the pragmatist, sighs: “We thought this might happen. Makes sense. Just not sure how… yet.” 🤡