Speaking of Bitcoin (BTC) and Ethereum (ETH), they’re trailing behind like kids on a school trip, with gains of 167% and 76% respectively in 2025. Sorry, guys, but XRP just grabbed the mic and isn’t giving it back. 🎤✨
Behold the mystery: Spot Netflow hit -$5.37 million (that’s the “uh-oh” moment), while Futures inflows jumped a startling $17.79 million, hinting at the whales’ ever-growing appetite for WLFI and traders anticipating a push toward $0.24. Tension is building. Who will come out on top? 🎭
“Red September” has been as brutal as a giant peach rolling down a hill, squishing all the poor bulls in its path. Ethereum took the biggest wallop, nose-diving 12% and tumbling below its precious $4,000 support like a golden ticket lost in a chocolate factory. 🍫💔 Bitcoin, not one to be left out, lost about 5%, skulking back to nearly $109,000, while Dogecoin and Solana each took a 21% nosedive. In total, a staggering $300 billion vanished into thin air, proving once again that excessive leverage is about as sensible as a fox guarding a henhouse. 🐔🦊
Nate Geraci, the grand poobah of The ETF Store, reckons the SEC might just give the nod within the next fortnight. 🗓️ Yes, you heard that right-fortnight, a word so fancy it makes you want to wear a top hat and monocle. 🎩 According to Nate, the SEC’s recent warm fuzzies toward Solana staking ETFs have them feeling all sorts of generous. Could this be the moment crypto ETF markets finally stop dithering and start delivering? 🌟
AlphaTON Capital Corp (Nasdaq: ATON), a treasury custodian for the Telegram Open Network, has announced the closing of seventy-one million in financing and the completion of its first token accumulation, a small flame in a weathered ledger. announced.
In our current sordid age of scams larger than life and politicians whose integrity could use a makeover, events like this serve as a pícaro’s happy diversion, showcasing that even amidst the swindlers lurks a hint of nobility.
This strategy, a carbon copy of Trump’s “crypto vote” charm offensive 🔥, suggests that even the UK’s staid political stage is now a battleground for digital gold rush dreamers.
When a crypto asset’s price experiences a persistent downward trend, history reveals that the negative movement mostly hampers investors’ sentiment. The same can be said for Bitcoin, with the current state of its market and the action of investors toward BTC’s recent price pullback, which is as reliable as a clockwork squirrel. 🐿️
This cautious bid arrived as the PCE index, the Fed’s favorite price-checking hobby, reported a 2.7% annual rise. Core PCE, excluding food and energy (because who needs sustenance?), climbed 2.9%. A performance so pedestrian it could be mistaken for a spreadsheet error. 🚀
Our cheeky little Dogecoin (DOGE) is forming a whimsical long-term pattern, according to the wise trader known as Trader Tardigrade (yes, that’s a real name!). This isn’t just a haphazard drawing; it splits the market into three hilarious stages: Accumulating, Hodling, and Selling zones. Sounds like a funky dance-off, doesn’t it?
