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$XRP is a BUY, proclaims the TD Sequential-a tool as mystically precise as a dowsing rod dipped in Excel.

Tether, the crypto titan, is now fleeing Uruguay like a mouse from a cat. Once a pioneer in mining, now a ghost of its former self. The dream of making Uruguay a mining hub? Just a flicker in the dark. 💸

There’s this proposal-PLP 214/2020, drafted by Deputy Paulo Ramos, which is a mouthful, honestly-that basically wants to ban those larger denomination bills. Because apparently, criminals prefer untraceable cash. Who knew? 🤔 They want us all just Venmo-ing each other for everything. Very millennial of them, actually.

Crypto companies are “clear-headed” now? Sure. Last year they were panicking because some guy in a basement lost his private keys. Now they’re all “let’s build infrastructure!” Like we’re building the Brooklyn Bridge. 🏗️

In a flurry of excitement (or perhaps just the end of a particularly intense business week), large blockchain holders have been exceedingly busy. Wallets bursting with between 100,000 and 1,000,000 LINK have decided to indulge in a little spree, accumulating nearly 2 million tokens in just 48 hours. All this, while LINK was strutting around the $24 mark, blissfully indifferent to its new fans.

USDC inflows have reached a four-year zenith, as if the very coins themselves have grown weary of the chaos and decided to take a vacation. 🏖️

On that modern marvel called X, a man named Adam Livingston (author of “The Bitcoin Age” and “The Great Harvest”-titles that sound like far-off epochs in some Kafkaesque saga) lays forth an argument so compelling it might just make you forget your beloved crypto-wallet. He insists that buying stock in Bitcoin treasury companies is not mere speculation, but a vision of a financial future erected upon a foundation as solid and inflexible as a Soviet bureaucrat’s scowl.

“Once they’ve drained that bathtub dry,” Hayes chuckled, as the TGA’s balance teetered at $807 billion, “the tide’ll roll back in, and up only can commence!” See, when the Treasury hoards cash like a dragon sitting on gold, it’s not sloshing around in the markets. But once they stop siphoning, *poof*-liquidity magic! 🌊

In the hallowed halls of X (formerly the realm of birdsong), analyst Ali, our modern-day oracle, has deciphered the TD Sequential’s cryptic runes. A C13 buy signal, no less! After days of bearish tantrums, the token clings to $0.32 like a barnacle to a ship’s hull. The candles, once robust and fiery, now shrink in modesty, their wicks trimmed by the scissors of indecision. A previous signal, marked “9,” once sparked a fleeting romance with upward mobility-a flirtation, if you will. But will this new suitor fare better? Only the shadows know. 🧙♂️📈

Grayscale has launched a historic crypto investment product on NYSE Arca. The first American-based multi-asset crypto exchange-traded product (ETP) is called the Grayscale CoinDesk Crypto 5 ETF (GDLC). It provides access to five of the most popular cryptocurrencies, including Bitcoin, Ether, XRP, Solana, and Cardano. 🌌💸