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For those who enjoy dancing perilously close to the fiscal edge, cryptocurrency beckons like a masked stranger at a Venetian ball. Amid these digital masqueraders, XRP now finds itself labeled the ‘smartest crypto’ by analysts. One shudders to think what they call the rest of the lot—‘the strenuous thinkers’ or ‘the coins left unsupervised at family gatherings.’

Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist—these numbers are slippery little devils. The whole world’s liquidity (that’s fancy talk for how much money is dancing around) is a staggering $127 trillion! Gold? Nearly $24 trillion, just sitting there, all shiny and disinteresting in comparison. CoinShares lazily used a big fancy model called TAM—think of it as a giant pie chart—and figured that if Bitcoin just nibbles on a tiny piece of these grand heaps, it might be worth more than your wildest dreams. Just a nibble, mind you, not plundering the whole cake! 🍰

Current status? XRP’s tiptoeing around $2.96, bragging a modest 1.8% jog in the intraday marathon. That’s a small victory, but enough to remind traders that the bulls have been fiercely guarding the $2.80 support—kind of like a bouncer at a velvet rope—since July’s minor drama where the price flirted briefly with $3.66. Below, the support remains, above, the potential for a bullish leap. If XRP can close above $3.00 today, it’s like flipping a switch—bye-bye hesitation, hello, bullish momentum. Targets? $3.33, then $3.43—levels that have kept traders awake at night, nervously biting their nails.

This isn’t SharpLink’s first rodeo. They’re already the second-largest corporate ETH hoarder with over 438,000 ETH. Only BitMine (Tom Lee’s baby) beats them. 🏆 But let’s be real, who’s counting? 🙄

SHIB price is now down a heartbreaking 13.23% over the past week thanks to some digital panic selling. But hold on to your leashes—it is up slightly (1.05%) today to a measly $0.000012. Because who doesn’t love a micro-upgrade?

According to the wise sages at Lookonchain, our dear Hayes also parted ways with 2,373 ETH and 7.76 million ENA. The aftermath? PEPE’s price took a nosedive, plummeting 4% within a mere 24 hours. But fear not, for the token found a cozy little spot just above the all-important $0.000010 level. A true survivor, wouldn’t you say?

Basically, Bitcoin’s had a tougher month than a New York City winter. It shot up to $125,000, and everyone was like, “Look at me! I’m rich!” Then, as if on cue, the crashes started—profit-taking, market weakness, the usual. Now it’s spinning its wheels below $114,000—trying to get back but just keeps bumping into resistance like a bad date. The 30-minute chart looks like a kid trying to break out of a disagreement—lots of failed attempts. 🥴

The market’s closing the week with a candle as red as Bertie Wooster’s face after a run-in with Aunt Agatha, wiping out nearly a month of steady gains. It’s all rather deleveraging, what? 💼🔥

Apparently, the Salvadoran National Assembly thought, “Why stop at one term when you can have… well, ALL of them?” In a move that screams “dictator-in-training,” they’ve now allowed presidential candidates to run for reelection indefinitely. Oh, and they bumped the presidential term from five years to six. Because why not? 🥳

And lo, the altcoins, those supporting actors of the crypto stage, doth waffle in indecision. ETH, once proud, now shies away from $3,500, while SOL teeters on the brink of $160. Alas, the plot thickens! 🧐