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Sep. 10 is when Linea’s token-generation extravaganza kicks off-a party your portfolio probably wasn’t invited to.

WLD, the golden token of the Worldcoin ecosystem, just jumped 25% in 24 hours, soaring to $1.30, which is the highest it’s been since July. Talk about a rally that’ll make your grandma blink twice.

Yes, dear reader, despite the S&P 500’s impressive 30% surge since April (a number so shiny it could blind a magpie), JP Morgan insists we brace for turbulence. Inflation, lackluster jobs reports, trade tariffs, and the infamous “September curse” loom like wolves at the edge of the forest. 🐺🍂 Oh, and did I mention historical precedent? Markets in September have a peculiar habit of wilting faster than flowers in a heatwave.

Schwartz did what any modern tech leader does-he found a scammy Brad Garlinghouse video on X (formerly Twitter, currently confusing) and responded with that universal signal of internet distress: a GIF saying “Scam Alert.” Very official. The video claimed to reveal Ripple’s secret master plan, which is obviously “give all your money to strangers.” Classic. It also came pre-loaded with links that were sketchier than a Facebook Marketplace listing for “vintage dental tools.”

Pray, allow me to inform you that on a most memorable Monday, the coin affectionately known as HYPE, the indispensable companion to Hyperliquid, soared to a point seldom imagined, besting previous records with a value of $51.84. Hyperliquid, much like the most elusive gentlemen in the Ton, flourishes as a decentralized perpetuals trading assembly, conducting its affairs on its own artful layer one blockchain, HyperEVM. This cunning mechanism is – I daresay – constructed for transactions both swift and inexpensive, and its onchain order book waves away gas fees as if they were suitors unworthy of notice.

It began (as all grand conspiracies do) with a misinterpretation, or, as it’s known in the wider world, reading the wrong line on the spreadsheet and shouting about it before checking if someone else at the table ordered the same dish. YouTuber Clive Thompson-whose powers of deduction are rivalled only by his ability to see patterns in loose change-decided Tether must have swapped its Bitcoin for gold, dragons, or perhaps a particularly shiny potato. The problem? The numbers didn’t add up, literally, because bits were moved-not sold.

Let’s dig deeper into what all this means for the crypto space and which cryptos are primed to explode like a hot potato. Spoiler alert: you might want to keep reading.

So here we are, Ethereum stuck in the $4,330 zone-up 1% in the last 24 hours, which is basically the excitement level of a Monday morning. Over the week, it’s slouched down 2%. Earlier this year ETH ran hot, but now it seems to have gone for a leisurely stroll toward resistance at $4,900, pausing every few minutes to contemplate its life choices. 😴

In this whimsical world, meme coins lead the dance, with Nobody Sausage (NOBODY) leaping 62% in the last seven days. Let’s dive into NOBODY and two other meme coins to watch as we tiptoe towards the end of Q3.

In a tweet that fluttered through the ethers like a mischievous imp, Nick summarized the debut act of crypto’s strange opera: “all about money and infrastructure.” Glorious chaos, fortunes won and lost, and countless JavaScript bugs shackled with chains of blockchain.