JPYKRW

Apparently, the Cyprus authorities are now trying to unravel this modern-day mystery, with a small team of cybercrime detectives shrugging into their lab coats. The man claims—amidst the usual sighs—that his digital treasure trove, worth a small fortune in simple numbers, was stolen through a cyber-savory that knew how to pick a digital lock. The thieves, probably sipping coffee somewhere, managed to crack his email—because, as experts point out, leaving your password at ‘password123’ or the name of your lazy cat isn’t exactly Sherlock Holmes-level security.

Ethereum kicked off the countdown to its big 1-0 bash just over a week ago, unfurling an NFT torch that first graced the digital hands of co-founder Joseph Lubin, probably with a cup of tea in the other hand. 🍵

Eight XRP wallets, all whispering tales of Chris Larsen’s involvement, are tagged 1 through 8 on xrpscan.com. Wallets 1 to 4 are the stodgy types, each lounging with just over 500 million XRP, while wallet 5 has 282.49 million, and wallet 6 is sitting pretty with 300.18 million. Sarcastic side note: wallet 7’s got a pitiful 21.79 XRP—talk about being left out of the fun—and wallet 8 flaunts a smug 1,000,009 XRP. The first four haven’t lifted a finger to send anything out, but wallet 5? Oh, it’s the life of the party, kicking off almost 60 million XRP in transfers from July 15. 😂

Now, just in case you were worried Toncoin was headed for the crypto cemetery after peaking at $7.60 in 2024 (we hardly knew ye), there’s fresh hope from institutional backers and the lure of your grandma soon swapping TON stickers in her favorite group chat. Talk about a glow-up.

In the shadowed corridors of Great China, where even the wind whistles secret rules, the hammer fell: not just on passwords but on skulls thick with the delusion of safety. Here, every coin—whether copper or crypto—bears the suspicious stamp of the Central Authority, and every byte is a potential snitch.

On a day when the sun dared not shine too brightly (July 11, to be precise), Bloomberg delivered a tale of monstrous fees: JPMorgan, that noble house of finance, declared war on fintechs by charging them a princely sum—up to 1,000% per transaction!—for the privilege of accessing customer data. A financial guillotine, one might say. 💸

Details? Oh, the EU’s splashing out $750 billion on US energy – because nothing says ‘friendship’ like buying a truckload of oil – and tossing in another $600 billion for investments. Sarcastic slow clap here. 🙄 And tariffs? Down from 30% to 15%, but Trump won’t budge further. Classic him, holding firm like he’s guarding the last slice of pizza. 🍕

Ah, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The price of Ethereum, dear reader, has been galloping ahead, leaving mere mortals in its dust. Since June’s end, it has surged by nearly 75%. Yes, you heard that right—nearly 75%! Breaking past the once-holy $3,500 resistance like an unstoppable force, it now struts around the $3,770 mark, like it owns the place. This rally, naturally, is fueled by an onslaught of spot Ethereum ETF inflows, a bizarre surge in on-chain volume, and a growing hoard of whales who seem to be accumulating ETH as though it’s the last piece of bread in a famine. The market sentiment? Oh, it’s as bullish as a bull on steroids. 🐂

Now, these “whales”—addresses so rich they could buy a small country—own at least 1% of the circulating supply. That’s right, they’re the ones with deeper pockets than a kangaroo. 🦘 And what does this mean? Well, it’s either a vote of confidence or a game of hot potato. You decide. 🥔

Summary